SISUAHLAI

Cho Kang

2008-12-23T11:27:00.003+08:00

CHO v. make (as in honcho)
KANG n. work (k-, ang as in uncle)

Mondays are to cho kang (working) adults what teething are to toddlers, they are painful but necessary.

Some of us hold important position, and frequently find ourselves in the firing line...

Some of us have to push and motivate people to get things done...

Many of us toil away oblivious to the risks involved...

I just hope all of us survive 2009. Watch your eggs. And put them in different basket please.

We are dancer, thank you

2008-12-05T01:08:00.003+08:00

I will write when I really have ideas, right now, let's just kick back and relax. Besides it is the holiday season.

(I am going to regret posting this Youtube clip; it is enjoyable in a sadomasochistic way, yes, like torture without physical pain)

Tauhu chui "Hot N Cold"

2008-11-23T22:23:00.004+08:00

As they say in Kuching Hokkien, pua sio leng (half cold half hot)! You can have your soya milk served this way. This is the only place I know you can use ambiguous terms and yet people seem to understand you.

More?

Pua si pua wa' (half dead half alive)
Pua khongkham (half insane, yes, this is madness in the pre-digital, analogue age)

Now enjoy this video (Youtube Live 22 November 2008)...

Royal Mulu Mascot

2008-11-10T11:53:00.003+08:00

Oh, how I like a good humour. Batty ~~boy~~ bat is indeed the loveliest creature ever to have emerged from the darkest crevices and cracks of Mulu caves. This must be someone's idea of a prank. And I like it.

Raja Petra writes and we listen

2008-11-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

It is good to have him back. Back to what he does best: write, and write well.

My compulsory daily blog visit has always been Malaysia Today. To have the star columnist back is like having protein once again after months of bland carbohydrate online diet.

He served up another yummilicious article ("I am Malay, and proud of it") since his release from the ISA detention centre in Kamunting. And he has put forward a valid challenge in the final paragraph: To have the economic crutches removed and to really empower the major ethnic group of Malaysia. (The story before that final few paragraphs are slightly more entertaining yet true, so please read the link!)

I hope the new generation of policy-makers (Khairy, Nurul Izzah etc) will be able to make real and substantial changes, at the same time inspire and empower every Malaysian without the need for ethnic rhetoric ala Obama-style*.

I think the best way to start for these young politicians is to learn valuable lessons from Raja Petra's stories.

Welcome back Pete!

*I personally feel that we are not able to leave racial politics yet because we have not reached the necessary patriotism to do so. Obama united the majority of Americans (which has always been fragmented) with the promise of a better future and troubled times like these need a togetherness not seen before. He didn't even mutter a single word relating to ethnicity in his victory speech. This is indeed a substantial CHANGE. A change for the better.

Obama: inspirational leader, charisma 100%; Our PM-elect charisma 0%

2008-11-05T19:07:00.002+08:00

When I say PM-elect, I really mean leader by divisional votes.

Congratulations to USA for showing the world that there is always hope for change (for the better) and for making us believe that real democracy does not know any racial barrier.

I am longing for a charismatic statesman to unstuck our country from denial and ancient practices.

Yes, we can.

Enjoy

2008-10-23T16:20:00.000+08:00

This one is brilliant in its original form. So I am going to copy and paste it and just let it be, so you can read it and enjoy it as much as I did.

From the Star: Funny words

LONDON LOG
By CHOI TUCK WO

Graffiti is providing a dose of humour amidst the current economic gloom.

Amid the gloom and doom of the global financial crisis, all it took was a mere piece of graffiti to lift the spirits. That’s not to say there’s nothing to cheer about these days; reports of petrol price dipping below £1 (RM6.50) per litre and food bills tumbling have brought relief all round.

But with the flurry of depressing news hogging the media spotlight, it has to be a graffiti wall sprayed with graffiti - yes of all things! - that provided a little respite.

From Charles Dickens to Les Dawson, the British are said to be never funnier than when they are miserable. And from that philosophy of finding hilarity in hardship has come some of the best humour in local history.

When news broke out about a £3,000 (RM19,500) graffiti wall being put up in a Cornish town for youths to express themselves through graffiti, many were bemused with what was happening. Others felt it was a blatant waste of public funds, especially during times of economic hardship.

The general perception is the money could have been better spent on more worthy projects. Upgrading the local library, sports field or even the community hall were among those suggested.

And when someone jumped the gun and sprayed a protest message - “I paid my tax and all I got was this lousy wall” - ahead of the wall’s opening end of this month, Pandora’s box was opened.

Obviously, the police in Wadebridge, a bustling market town north of Cornwall, were not amused with the prankster “scooping” them with his mark on the wall.

The writing’s on the wall, wrote the local Cornish Guardian, as it reported being deluged with calls from local residents about the uninvited message.

Well, the wall’s not even opened yet, the police argued. And they now have to “crime it, investigate it and paint over it,” incurring yet more taxpayer’s money.

Then again, what probably irked the authorities was not so much that they were beaten to it but by what was written on the wall.

After all, the wall was built specifically for graffiti in the first place. It was to have been intended for youths to put their marks on other than on other people’s property.

With all the fuss over the graffiti, the prankster is probably laughing at the attention his message has generated. And that’s exactly what he wanted - he has had the local media falling for it, as attention switched from catching the culprit to spending money on worthy projects.

The bigger issue, however, is why people have resorted to communicating through graffiti in the first place?

Some regard it as a way of putting across social and political messages. Others view it as an artform.

Whatever their intention, defacing property with graffiti without the owner’s consent is simply vandalism; there are no two ways about it.

Perhaps, those concerned should consider channelling their energy on their back garden walls or those of their parent’s. That way, they only have themselves to blame for any repercussions.

The Notorious Mr White Rabbit

2008-10-08T00:51:00.003+08:00

In the Western world, if you asked for the white rabbit, people would probably direct you to the nearest sex shop. In Malaysia (or anywhere in the Far East), people will know that you are referring to that popular candy with the delicious (edible!) plasticky, transparent outer wrapping.

So I was naturally shocked, angry and disappointed to read about our fav candy, the White Rabbit, actually contained real plastic material - melamine!

(please pronounce melamine melameeeen, and not melamind).

But, what's more shocking is this article in the Star about melamine in White Rabbit. The White Rabbit (Creamy Candy) contains more than 50 times the permissible level. Yes, the Health Ministry actually allows small traces of melamine in food!!!

I am now officially worried with our food standards.

Can someone please enlighten me as to why small amount of melamine is allowed in food? Atmospheric background melamine???

The big boys always win!

2008-09-29T09:31:00.000+08:00

In normal life, we don't get goodies when we make mistake. But life is never normal. This is what we are witnessing when the US government provided a super-giant rescue plan to failing banks. Those banks rake in abnormal profits in good times, and hand them out to their workers and CEOs. But during the not-so good times, they still hand out handsome gains to their workers and CEOs!

Hang on, this story gets worse (or better if you are one of those workers and CEOs). Even when those banks are heading for the abyss, because they make the wrong bet with their invesment and deposits, the workers and CEOs can still walk away with pocketful of dosh! And to add more insult, the government will use people's money to save their polished rear-ends so they won't go belly up. Just like a trusted uncle. In the case of USA, it's Uncle Sam saving those screw-ups again and again and again.

So what do we learn from this sorry episode?

You have a license to be reckless when you are one of the big financial boys.

Most dispicable.

New message from board of tourism? YB Datuk Seri Najib new video-blog.

2008-09-17T15:12:00.001+08:00

Check out this new "instructional"-like video: www.1malaysia.com.my. Reminded me of my Kemahiran Hidup cikgu: "selamat pagi semua, hari ini kita akan belajar memasang lampu swis, tarik wayar jiran dan saya akan tunjukkan macam mana boleh jimat bil api."

I got something complimentary to say about him, I like his smile. He tried so hard.

Happy Malaysia Day, when you're ready

2008-09-15T21:17:00.004+08:00

Today, I shall blog in the bullet point style of chedet.com. Btw, Tun M, Happy Malaysia Day to you.

(1) When a non-Malaysian friend asked how we ended up having 2 Independence Days, 31 August and 16 September, I had to go back to my Form 5 Secondary School textbook to explain.

(2) Of course, I did add, that just like Microsoft Windows, there are several versions. Historical facts is one thing and interpretation of historical facts is another.

(3) 31 August is Hari Merdeka and 16 September is Malaysia Day. To cut a long story short, parts of Malaysia achieved independence from British rule at different times, on those 2 dates.

(4) However I stressed, the story of this geographical region now known as Malaysia is just a series of colonisation: Siamese, Dutch, Portugese, British, just to name some recent ones.

(5) 31 August is a public holiday in Malaysia, and 16 September isn't, unless you took MC on that day.

(6) So what is the official position on Independence Day? Which day was it?

(7) Malaysians should ideally celebrate their independence every single day.

(8) But not everyone is equally patriotic (if patriotism is measured by those cheerful visibility on Merdeka Day), some parade along Dataran Merdeka on 31 August, some watch the glittery show on TV, some still unconscious in bed. So you see, not everyone is celebrating, and even if they do, they do not do it in the same exuberant degree.

(9) Some feel that they rather defer any form of celebration until their are truly free from colonisation, in mind and spirit.

(10) That is why, my non-Malaysian friend, your question about our independence day is really difficult to answer and I apologise as I'm not able to provide a satisfying answer.

Malaysia must stay UNITED

2008-09-13T23:25:00.003+08:00

My blog vigil for solidarity.

Their sad meaning of mainstream

2008-09-13T17:35:00.005+08:00

MAINSTREAM (n):

Do and say what the "leaders" want you to do and say, however irrational. People who do their own thinking are dangerous because they may end up not doing and saying things the "leaders" wish them to do and say. Indepedent thinking is potentially non-mainstream and should be curbed and regulated. Social integration requires people to behave and think in an automated way because independent thinking could lead them astray. These "leaders" do not believe social integration can be achieved through diversity of thinking. Diversity should only be in the colours of clothes you wear and the choice of music you listen to, and should not apply to any intellectual activity (intellectual sanctioning act?).

Welcome to the last century.

Can old *** learn new tricks?

2008-09-10T14:42:00.002+08:00

From the archives (13 Feb 2007): things do not change much here.

PEI-PEI adj. adjacent, side by side
ARM-CHIO adj. "dark smile"

I was alerted to two interesting, seemingly juxtaposing newspaper articles.

At the top end it was about Sarawak's Chief Minister plans and ideas on choosing his successor...

And at the bottom quarter, it was about a doctor's advice against the dangers of sitting too long on the proverbial throne.

(the haemorrhoid gun looks more menacing)

Just exactly what are the press people trying to imply huh?!?

Will the real Dark Knight please stop playing mind games?

2008-09-08T10:18:00.001+08:00

Sorry for the temporary silence. I am currently working on a new blog based on a part-autobiography semi-fictional life (need a lot of re-working, as it turned out so far, the protagonist seems to have a more boring existence than the real-life dude!).

While I work on this one, I will have one eye fixed on Dark Knight taking over command & control on 16 September. Failing that, there will always be 16 September 2009 or 2010 (and so forth). I love my country enough not to swallow racist comment and pretend that was alright. I went to college and university not to end up numb and indifferent. I hope Dark Knight will teach the Joker a good lesson.

Proud to be a Malaysian AGAIN!

2008-08-26T20:39:00.006+08:00

Need I say more? It's a landslide victory for all of us.

Access mirror site to the blocked Malaysia-today here.

1 + 1 = ? (I forgot my maths, can you please help me?)

2008-08-25T22:57:00.005+08:00

cast your mind back...

Cargo aircraft crash-lands, airport runway forced to close for six hours (The Star 14 January 2007)

KUCHING: A cargo aircraft from Kuala Lumpur crash-landed at Kuching International Airport here early yesterday, causing the airport runway to be closed for six hours.

The Boeing 737-200 aircraft belonging to Gading Sari Aviation Services Sdn Bhd was trying to land at 5.52am when it skidded and spun 180 degrees before coming to rest on a grassy area off the runway.

Its wheels and right engine came off during the crash-landing and the fuselage was badly damaged. Several taxiway and runway lights were also destroyed.

Quick action: Airport personnel spraying an anti-flammable substance on the plane engine to prevent it from catching fire in Kuching.

The four crew members on board the plane were unharmed in the incident.

The aircraft was operating as a mail courier for Pos Malaysia Bhd and had left Subang airport at 4am.

Deputy Transport Minister Datuk Douglas Uggah said the plane skidded to a stop about 1,500m from the start of the runway.

“It was about 80m from the centre of the taxiway and 87.5m from the centre of the runway. Its position was affecting incoming and outgoing flights, so airport authorities had to close the runway to allow the aircraft to be towed away and debris to be cleared,” he told reporters at the airport.

The closure delayed 16 Malaysia Airlines and 14 AirAsia flights, affecting some 2,200 passengers.

“We apologise to all passengers,” Uggah said, adding that the airport was re-opened at noon.

According to Uggah, debris including engine parts, tyres and broken pieces of lights had been strewn across the runway.

“Luckily, the runway surface was not damaged.”

The Department of Civil Aviation will investigate the cause of the incident.

In Petaling Jaya, Pos Malaysia chief operating officer Mohd Zarif Hashim said Pos Malaysia uses one aircraft to send mail from Kuala Lumpur to Sabah and Sarawak on Monday and two from Tuesday to Saturday.

Pos Malaysia Bhd and Gading Sari Aviation Services are now rushing to get approval from the authorities which would allow an aircraft to be brought in from Indonesia as a stop-gap measure.

“There will be minimal disruptions in mail services to Sabah and Sarawak,” said Mohd Zarif.

He said if efforts to get the replacement plane fail, Pos Malaysia would give priority to its Poslaju service on its single flight.

AND NOW READ THIS: SHOCKER ARTICLE* (25 August 2008)

*Update: Access the shocker article HERE. (a mirror site in case the above url is hacked/blocked)

Taekwondo champion kicks referee in the face - like a true 'champion'!

2008-08-24T02:21:00.003+08:00

This taekwondo 'champion' was on the verge of winning the Olympic bronze medal when he decided to take some injury time-out at the very last round. According to the referee, he took too much injury time and was subsequently disqualified.

Since the official rules did not suit this taekwondo 'champion', he resorted to the rule of jungle and took matters into his own foot!

Bam!

"Smell my foot and tell me who's the winner!!"

Instead of winning a medal like a true hero, he was banned from the sport, for LIFE.

The moral choice between picking a leader who fcks one person or a bunch of leaders who fck the entire country (hypothetical question of course)

2008-08-21T11:28:00.003+08:00

The ruling politicians can speak till their mouths foam (this is the current favoured political euphemism) defending their ancient race-oriented policies.

Or they can stay silent on important issues on the pretext of matters still being investigated or not wanting to interfere with on-going court cases.

But they cannot hide from the fact that the country is losing its international competitiveness. The country is ailing.

Diagnosis: CHANGE.

We need people with fresh ideas.

I can tell you that the Rakyat are an intelligent bunch. We are not that partisan, we are not as loyal as you might think. We do not have a favourite son.

But we do want change. Sure, the change might involve installing a personality who has a pending court case relating to certain sexual foul-play accusation. But given the pool of politicians available, he is still our safest bet if CHANGE is what we want.

If I live in a (hypothetical) country that had to choose between a leader who fcks one person or a bunch of leaders who fck the entire country, I will definitely choose the former. Better have one Laksamana Mee So Do than a bunch of Laksamana Do Re Mi running my country.

Arguing with a woman is not about right and wrong, it’s about her trying to demoralize you, to break your spirit

2008-08-19T11:20:00.002+08:00

Whilst we entrust our politicians to steer (read: social engineer) this nation to some form of greatness, we recognise that we still have to play our tedious part. We still have to deal with this nitty gritty stuff called our individual lives. However much they debate and talk about subsidies and tax cut etc, we still have to figure out what sauce to eat our meat with, what phone network to sign up to, and how to handle arguments with our women. Politicians are pretty much useless when it comes to issues of micro-living, which in reality, is really the only basis of our happiness. We only care about the macro picture as a soothing distraction to the mess found within our micro-lives.

I am saying this because I have difficulty handling arguments with female friends. This seemingly trivial problem appears to overwhelm all the other more major issues in life.

Hell indeed hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Ms SSL (the wiser other half) advised these measures when facing an angry woman:

Shut up.
Leave.
Or prepare to fight dirty.

:(

This article may save your life:
How to handle arguments with women: "Arguing with a woman is not about right and wrong, it’s about her trying to demoralize you, to break your spirit"

Usain Bolt wins the Olympics 100m in a World Record time of 9.69secs and the happiest man is this...

2008-08-16T23:48:00.002+08:00

He must be the happiest, most delighted non-Jamaican supporter in the stadium. (pic: Usain celebrating with the crowd after the historical victory)

...or was that an accidental headlock?

The Birth of Nut Graph (another highbrow news blog?)

2008-08-15T01:21:00.005+08:00

A group of inspired journalists and business-minded people will launch The Nut Graph, Malaysia's newest (online) news portal, on 15 August 2008 (incidentally TODAY!). Good luck to them.

I have asked about joining them (although not sure what I am joining exactly, but the idea sounds wacky), obviously as an unproven sisuahlai writer, true to form. They haven't replied with a rejection, so as far as this dreamy application is concerned, it is still alive. :)

Nut graph has clearly stated that it won't be focusing on breaking news (read this write-up: The Nut Graph to explain it all) as it pointed out that Malaysiakini and MalaysianInsider have cornered the breaking news market, so no need to replicate. It will offer a different reporting style to readers. cough* I guess this has got nothing to do with budget constraints.

As Nut Graph isn't live yet at time of writing, I suspect it will offer plentiful of aerial views on socio-political subject matter - little to none first-hand reporting, but very heavy on afterthoughts. This description reminds me of an over-opinionated aunty showing off her arm-chair analysis about absolutely anything.

If that is the case, then it is not too too dissimilar to reading socio-political blogs that are so abundant in our local blogosphere, e.g. Malaysia Today.

One of the Nut Graph founders said,"There’s a lot of news reporting, that’s for sure, but not enough done to connect the dots."

"We believe it’s not enough to just report if we want to add value to our readers’ experience of the news."

I am eager to find out first-hand as I have no idea what she is trying to say.

200 orgasms a day girl: Too much goodness is NO GOOD

2008-08-14T09:44:00.002+08:00

It is similar to having no work and going on a permanent holiday 365 days in a year! Where is the fun?

The key to meaningful joy/happiness is to suffer first and then "release".

This 200 orgasms a day case (triggered by almost anything!) is well and truly a condition - Permanent Sexual Arousal Syndrome. She needs an anti-depressant to control it. And she is desperate for a cure.

"But I've heard of other girls who have the same problem and it just appears out of the blue. I've spoken to my doctor about it but she wasn't a great deal of help but that's mainly because there's very little known about it and no one yet knows how to cure it."

My sympathy goes out to her.

The Joker's last act?

2008-08-14T08:39:00.002+08:00

Get more Got"him" juice here.

The picture to neutralise all the bitterness in our local blogosphere (strictly for older teenagers and beyond)

2008-08-13T00:15:00.005+08:00

Do you know who this is? (this must be the most calming image after a week-long pointless squabbles between people who hardly know each other)

Peace. Love.

Multi Level Marketing, Police, Court Case, Happy People (am I missing anything???)

2008-08-11T17:37:00.001+08:00

check out this link: Why are they so happy?

http://mstar.com.my/cms/content.jsp?id=com.tms.cms.article.Article_506a703a-c0a85062-14c4ac90-3b069dc8

Who is Shadowfoxxx?

2008-08-10T22:19:00.001+08:00

He sniffs out an element of pretentiousness in the local blogosphere. He identifies the prey. He builds his story. He adds a few layers of spicy subplots. He marinates it with some skunkdalous juice. And now the icing on the cake: he deep fries and lets rip his merciless (often funny and colourful) tirades of vulgarity, including words not found in any dictionary. Welcome to the world of shadowfoxxx!

This anonymous blogger has been hogging the local blogging limelight for some time now. He remains elusive, and has even turned down the most controversial blog post prize (the condition was to collect the prize in person!). It was obvious the foxxx identity is far pricier than the award. Soon, I think our local blogosphere would need to coin the term shadowfoxxx (as a verb) to mean that this blogger has officially flamed a person/an entity.

So who is this shadowfoxxx individual exactly?

Let's do some CSI work. These are based on probables, details and guesses extrapolated from his writings on the ShadowFoxxx's blog. (see disclaimer below)

(1) It's probably a male blogger.
I will not leave it to chance. This blogger could still be a bored female fantasy writer, the heavy butch version. But if you're a betting person, I'll advise putting your money on the blogger being a testosterone-flooded full-blooded male. Any ill-guided person of any gender can be sexist or pondanphobic; but it truly takes a XY-chromosome with a steely stomach to write such brutal philosophy: "To me, happiness is lying on a bed with a chick bobbing her head up and down my crotch."

(2) He had probably spent some (education years) time in Singapore.
His almost continuous rants on Singapore politics/politicians despite living and working in Malaysia shows that he cares enough to be bothered about it. The average Malaysian (from a survey of one = me) does not have an opinion on Singapore politics, full stop. Unless force to say something in a school essay - this does not count. Certain Singaporean government policies might have shaped his aspiration/goals in life, otherwise I cannot see any reason to be so vocal and so disparaging about it.

(3) He was probably university educated.
His above average IQ would have easily landed him a place in some form of tertiary education. He was probably a high achiever at his secondary school but maintained a healthy low profile (as opposed to the low profiles of disturbed kids).

(4) He is probably in the 27-34 age range.
One cannot possibly accumulate so much bitterness so young, unless we are talking about accelerated growth. I don't think he went through that, he is likely to have a pretty normal upbringing. So my guesstimate is that he is somewhere between 27-34. By 35, he would have matured enough to stop complaining on blogs (or become successful enough in his business to not bother shadowfoxxxblogging ever again!).

(5) He works well alone.
This is a hallmark of an independent thinker, perhaps too independent. I picture him doing his own business with minimal requirement for intense social networking. Freelance IT work comes to mind.

(6) He loves the Nuffnang concept, secretly?
This is my wildest guess. One can argue that after Nuffnang popularity has exploded and gone semi-mainstream, he ruled himself out being part of it (he probably saw it late also). He appeals to the niche market, and Nuffnang is not niche enough. It is too safe, too groupie and too mainstream for him. Cool dudes don't do that kind of stuff.

But my opinion is this, and I think this is more probable. He probably likes the Nuffnang concept, and wishes he was in the hot seat calling the shots.

*He previously indicated that he couldn't see the long term organic potential in Nuffnang as a clean online blogging ad agency (he also gave a Mesdaq analogy, Their real money comes from gullible investors and getting listed in Mesdaq...). Instead of giving it the benefit of doubt, he was quick to dismiss it. Cheery optimism is seldom high on his menu (too much optimism leads to self-delusion, remember?). So indirectly he was advising Nuffnang to revamp its business model before getting stuck in a rut and falling into the hands of venture capitalist. But then again, if some venture capitalist offer good money to buy out his IT idea, would he stand firm and say NEVER?

(7) Anymore guesses?

Disclaimer: Nothing stated here should be regarded as truths. We do not condone foxxx hunting. If one of the guesses happens to become fact, it should be considered a lucky guess, and not as a result of any inside information. It is really all just made up guesses, except the part of award to be given in real-person, the chick bobbing her head and the * paragraph. Those are non-changeable classic lines only a genius like the foxxx could write.

Why fox with the triple x? This one you have to wait.

Why is this the most "hilarious" cartoon in Malaysia

2008-08-09T22:41:00.003+08:00

Translation (cartoon from Utusan Online):

Guy in blue: The Olympic Opening Ceremony was awesome and joyful.
Guy in yellow: Let's hope our athletes will shine.

(cricket sounds)

This is one eerily unfunny and uninspiring cartoon. Who commissions this kind of non-intellectual use of newspaper/media space? It is so pointless, it is actually very disturbing.

Very disturbing.

Crime Co-perpretator Protection: First Come First Serve Basis Only please

2008-08-07T22:20:00.002+08:00

Syed Hamid on why Saiful wasn't charged (my comments in RED)

Anwar is charged under Section 377B of the Penal Code, which implies consensual sodomy.

KUALA LUMPUR (The Star): Mohd Saiful Bukhari Azlan is not being charged because he is the key witness in the sodomy case against PKR de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim, said Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar.

He said that in a criminal justice system, when a person comes forward to report on a matter, the person would be protected.

This logic surely does not apply to other crimes, right? A consensual co-perpetrator coming forward first gets protection?? Is this a race?

"Usually, the victim would be given protection," said Syed Hamid who spoke to reporters after the MoU signing ceremony between Malaysian and Australian Governments on immigration cooperation at a hotel here on Thursday.

Who could possibly be the victim in a consensual act?

He also said that Anwar is innocent until proven guilty by the court.

"Good cop bad cop" classic line.

"However, it doesn't mean that we can't take action against him just because he is a VIP," he said.

He also advised the public not to jump into any conclusion before the court decides the case.

Public not allowed to form an opinion?

In the police report he lodged on June 28, Saiful had claimed he was forcibly sodomised. Anwar is however being charged under Section 377B of the Penal Code, which implies consensual sodomy.

“If it is “suka sama suka” (consensual), why was I the only one being charged? If it is consensual, both should be charged,” Anwar said after coming out of the courtroom in Jalan Duta on Thursday.

Ya, man. Good question.

I have read Saiful's blog. It sure looks like a blog, and sounds like a blog, but is it really his blog? Seasoned blog readers are usually very good at telling whether a blog is a fake (instrumented and written by someone else). Take a sniff at his blog and tell me your verdict.

Why is it easier to find a partner when you already have one? (is cheating really fun?)

2008-08-07T10:00:00.004+08:00

For the record, I am taken, or I took someone (same difference) and cannot be bothered to break this monotony called monogamy. Laziness has its plus I tell you.

Anyway, I just wanna address this question: Why is it easier to find a partner when you already have one?

The answer is affirmatively yes (it is easier!). I am not writing this to promote promiscuity or to promote my sexiness (no need for I have close to zilt; maybe more than some bloggers out there, but not too much more). Here is why it is easier to find a partner when you already have one:-

(1) People with partners are relatively more secure then singletons, emotionally. They can handle rejections far better, which in turn, has a strong direct correlation with confidence (false or real). Confident people are naturally more attractive. Try talking to a good looking depressive. After 10 minutes of chat, not only will your libido goes MIA, your overall enthusiasm for life just sinks like a rock.

(2) The illusion of stability and reliability. Married people have this deceptive image of being reliable people. Why not, if someone is prepared to give his/her life to you by marrying you, you must be something awesome. Let me repeat, this is just an illusion, but this trickery of mind works magic on single people. (Real story, I know single KL people who purposely put on a wedding ring before going on a Friday night prowl just to improve their chances. This is crazy, but people are doing it - have you used this tactic before?)

(3) People with partners attract loose, wild characters who hate commitment. This companion-on-demand arrangement normally appeals to people who seek quick physical thrill, aka relationship adrenaline junkies. Typically, this no strings-attached relationships involve one if not two already-attached parties.

(4) Cheating/helping someone to cheat is fun (disclaimer: SSL does not condone anything that is hazardous to health, fun stuff may not necessarily be morally right, use your own intelligence to decide what is right for you). Cheating activities can only work only if one party is already attached. And trust me, they are more relationship fun-seekers than ooh look, I am so loyal people (potential liars).

(5) It is far cheaper (money terms and time) to go out with attached people. There is little time for games. Games are what cost relationship money and headaches. So the less time you play those games, the cheaper it'll get.Although the risk of complete catastrophe is higher (psycho jealous single partner and the likes wreaking havoc), but if the games are played underground (secretly)... it will save both parties a lot of money for the same physical returns. Since the world is going into recession, or near recession, I expect this activity to become more popular.

Disclaimer: Cheating is bad. (Bad is good?)

Government dabbles with MILF!?!

2008-08-05T14:29:00.001+08:00

Phew. For a second, I thought it was that MILF.

I am not joking you, I may have found the solution to induce female orgasm with just a touch of a button (PG-13 reading)

2008-08-05T14:10:00.002+08:00

Check out this orgasmatron. No more angry mornings and PMS-excuses (I hope)!

First pics of Bradangelina twin babies (Vivienne and Knox Jolie-Pitt) sold for a lelong price of US$14mil only!

2008-08-04T21:06:00.006+08:00

First "for magazine release" pictures of Brad and Angelina's twin babies were sold for US$14 million! Holy celebriticraziness!

Thankfully the money is going to good causes. Isn't it?

Man in Greece walked around town with severed head of gf (not before beheading the girl's dog; what did the dog do?!?!)

2008-08-04T10:18:00.004+08:00

We thought the bus beheading case was an absolute shocker until this one comes along.

Ultra super siaw!

SKY NEWS: A 31-year-old man who beheaded his girlfriend after stabbing her to death has been shot and wounded by police, officials on the Greek island of Santorini have said. Read more.

so how do you spot the pyscho in us?

Putting an end to a sorry saga: IcyQueenGoddess removed

2008-08-03T23:52:00.001+08:00

Silence is perfectly golden. A popular blogger perfected the art of not telling what doesn't need to be told (he is absolutely spot on!).

The only needed response was:-

Now you see it...

Now you don't...
Never feed the hungry pack of wolves... or was it f...?

Mudslinging: the latest blog craze?

2008-08-01T17:07:00.004+08:00

Mudslinging is a level milder than character assassination; like medium peri-peri to hot peri-peri. The latter has a more lasting effect, and usually built on allegations which are impossible (at least, very hard) to prove. Mudslinging is much simpler to perform, but it is still more art than science.

You do not need me to direct you to the whizz-kid in this latest blog fad (often found lurking in ping.sg). Often, this type of blog writing is clothed as attempt to expose the hypocrites, to reveal lies, to unearth untruths for the betterment of the world/something. This is not too dissimilar to using moral arguments to justify cruelty (emotional or physical).

Mudslingers are very different to cry-babies. Their motives are often complex. The worst variety of mudslingers are the NEUTRAL MUDSLINGERS. They do not have anything to gain from these activities apart from the joy of mudslinging itself. And when this is done on the blogosphere, the coverage of smear can be unthinkable. A little bit like having a homer manning a nuclear plant. So innocent, yet so in danger.

And I think I know who is next in the firing line. This person (easy target, like a sitting duck) will fall like a pack of cards if she/he plays the game.

*disbelief

Rare solar eclipse today: don't miss it, what locals will be able to see later

2008-08-01T11:27:00.000+08:00

Thousands are heading to Russia to witness today's RARE solar eclipse. If you haven't boarded that plane yet, don't despair. Head to the west-coast of Peninsular Malaysia (northern coastline folks have better chance). Tonight, between 6 to 7pm, you may be able to catch a partial eclipse.

From wikipedia: Viewing the Sun during partial and annular eclipses (and during total eclipses outside the brief period of totality) requires special eye protection, or indirect viewing methods. The Sun's disk can be viewed using appropriate filtration to block the harmful part of the Sun's radiation. Sunglasses are not safe, since they do not block the harmful and invisible infrared radiation which causes retinal damage. Only properly designed and certified solar filters should ever be used for direct viewing of the Sun's disk.

**The safest way to view the Sun's disk is by indirect projection.

Celebrity and other Mere Mortal Bloggers Poor Judgment: How you gonna fix it, fix it, fix it? Call for a press conference?

2008-08-01T09:43:00.001+08:00

Yesterday's interesting exchanges with fat4 (author of Xblogger) on ping.sg and an insider informant have led me to several conclusions.

Sometimes the best way to handle allegations, not-so-nice name-calling, ugly accusations is to keep a dignified silence. Dignified here, of course, implies "this is not worth my time", and occasionally "yes, I am guilty, what do you want me to say?". This is best exemplified by a blogger's non-response to recent mutterings on the blogosphere, I am referring to a she. Because certain matters, often trivial such as reputation (none for me), and other private issues, are just not worth the explanation.

The desperate need to explain yourself is a bad habit to have if you are a blogger. Good emotional control is king. (I am also guilty of first degree emotional failure to refrain, see last entry.)

So whenever you are pushed into a corner and suddenly that Danity Kane "how you gonna fix it?" song starts to play in your head, ask yourself:IS SILENCE GOLDEN? That might possibly be your greatest escape.

A Bad Day for Local Blogosphere: The Blogosphere Can Be So Impersonal

2008-07-30T17:18:00.011+08:00

Who pings and posts the above article? So unnecessary!!

I am first a friend, then a blogger. I am supporting my Kuching pals through this ordeal.

(UPDATE 31 July) to Xblogger: Thanks but no thanks. I don't need traffic from your link.
We don't live under a shell. Things leak out fast and swift whether we like it or not, this is a pretty close community (especially my reader circle). Bloggers and blog readers can suss thing out real fast. The only hypocrites in this sorry mud-smearing episode are those watching this unnecessary voyeuristic sh*te and snigger in the background.

I have been alluded to this case (and the characters in it) days before. But no specific reference was mentioned until that article came along. And the names got mentioned all over the blogosphere. So how to pretend ignorant and stupid?

Why countries should not be too anal: please follow the Thai footsteps

2008-07-30T10:27:00.001+08:00

Lifestyle choice liberalization is not a bad thing. But strict, uncompromising moral codes are!

People are inherently nice and rational beings. People who commit horrific transgressions (rapes, murders etc) are often desperate people with no channels to vent their unhappiness or fulfill their basic needs (bad economy and cultural policies at fault here again!). Psychopaths are rare.

Saying TV and internet influence criminal behaviour is like saying gun kills. Bro, you do need a medium to pull that trigger la.

Strict, overly-regulated environments are often run and managed by people who do not place too much trust on the inherent bona fide nature of others. A big boo-hoo!!

Now check this out:

Thai school offers trans-sexual toilet

Disclaimer: I know I am making arm-chair arguments here, not backed by evidence. I am merely copying those people who handed down moral policies to us. If they have no evidence to support their strict moral rules, why should I?

The Truth and Secrets about Doctors and their Medical Training

2008-07-30T00:00:00.004+08:00

I am about to set a dangerous precedence. However, if you've been a regular Sisuahlai reader, you are probably intelligent enough to know not to take anything too seriously here, that these views are personal, and importantly, to read between my lines. Here goes.

I am going to write another "medical" entry, perhaps faintly influenced by the recently leaked sodomy claim medical notes. This time, I want to let you in on some secrets about medical training and the workings of the average doctor's mind (or brain, if the mind is absent).

Most of us, if not all, have at least one unpleasant encounter with doctors. My experience is probably a little bit more biased, more exaggerated, as I had worked with them and occasionally supervised some of them. First, let's be clear: The reason some of you might find certain doctors unpleasant has nothing to do with the profession itself.

The medical profession itself is amoral. It does not differentiate good or evil. It is designed to detect and understand bodily disorder and then using proven scientific applications to restore the body back to health or comfort or simply prolonging life (usually as a mean to please loved ones). Sometimes, it may take the telepathic course of addressing health hazards or sometimes called preventative medicine. Basically, medicine is amoral.

Ok, now for the secrets.

SECRET 1: Doctors are not as clever as you think.
To be accepted into medical school, you are required to be an A star student (i.e. good at getting high marks) and to appear conventional. Eccentricity is a rarity in the medical world, that is why I enjoy watching House more than E.R.

You don't find many geniuses in the medical field, because if you are truly intelligent, you'd probably figure out that a lifetime of service is best reserved for people who enjoy routine. Geniuses and highly intelligent people just do not like routine - they get distracted and get bored too easily.

Majority of doctors are work-horses. Nobody doubt they could persevere if needed to. But most of the time, their work is not as cerebral as one might like to think. They just do routine stuff really well. Specialist doctors are doctors who are very good at their specific routines. When these people are required to think outside these routines, most will struggle.

SECRET 2: Any doctor would know that medical science is incomplete, but but it is still the best out there. But not many have the ability to convince patients to stick to proven evidence-based medicine.
Most of our modern medical treatment are non-curative in nature. The last discovery of a true medical cure for something was the antibiotics, and that was eons ago! Modern medicines however are good at masking symptoms, replacing discomfort with something more soothing and they are also good for altering numbers on scales (e.g. cholesterol level, blood pressure etc). This lack of cure in the medical marketplace has led many ignoramus seeking for alternative non-proven junks (herbal supplements, tablets with concentrated vitamins, liquid with ultra-diluted substances etc). Having doctors who are poor at conveying the right messages only serve to increase the sales of those junks. I blame doctors with poor communication skills for the massive alternative health market in Asia.

SECRET 3: Doctors frequently give diagnosis that they are most familiar with.
It is highly unlikely that you will leave the neurologist clinic with the diagnosis of fungal granuloma. The point is this, every doctor has their own strength. Just like you are better at certain subjects in school. Most doctors tend to adopt a quick-fix thinking based on what they encounter most. This subconscious approach blinkered them from other non-familiar diagnoses, even if highly probable.

SECRET 4: Medical school is not that tough! Easier to get a "Dr" title from medical school than a mentally-torturing PhD course
To pass medical finals, you need to display two essential things: the ability to regurgitate textbook answers under timed condition and to demonstrate the minimum level of maturity in front of examiners. You will hardly ever be given complex situation to solve. As long as you show that you are safe (do not harm patient!), it does not matter if you miss the diagnosis by a mile, they will still probably pass you. However, they will definitely fail you if you start acting weird and utter inappropriate words in your clinical exams.

SECRET 5: The knowledge is seldom wrong, but the attitude sucks.
A lot of sound clinical knowledge that a doctor gained are really through their actual working experience. So by the time they reach their 3rd or 4th year of hospital service, they are probably good enough to run a good thorough examination and telling you what could be wrong with your body. But not all will grow into likeable characters. The general public typically regard "a good doctor that we trust" as someone who can tell them stuff they want to hear and is approachable (easy to talk to) - even if the diagnosis given was wrong!! So for most, the attitude of their doctor ultimately decides how they manage their illnesses - not the doctor's experience or knowledge per se. Scary.

My personal definition of a good doctor is a suitably seasoned, healthy worrier that reads a lot. I don't ask too much.

Lesson on writing medical report and why I think doctors should avoid using the word SODOMY

2008-07-29T00:06:00.010+08:00

My first reaction was sh*t. Someone had sent me a Private & Confidential medical document: Saiful Bukhari's medical examination notes prior to the police report. I need to destroy it and pretend I never read it.

Then later, as a matter of blog reading routine, I went to Raja Petra's site. He had disseminated the same information I received earlier, to the great blogosphere masses!

Of course. The medical document sent to me as e-mail attachment was in fact a copy & paste job from Raja Petra's blog. My nerves settled; the initial panic of receiving a document pertaining to one of Malaysia's hottest cases slowly turned to a quiet sense of triumph, for the country most outspoken politician.

I tried to decipher the doctor's writing. If it was difficult for a fellow trained doc like myself to read it, I say it is near impossible for the lay-person to make heads and tails of the scribble. Someone had kindly unscrambled the medical report for us mortals (I got it from Susan Loone's Saiful was never sodomised by Anwar entry):

The conclusion was simple: NOTHING WAS FOUND ON THE DOCTOR'S EXAMINATION TO SUPPORT THE ALLEGED ACTIVITY.

But I really didn't see why the doctor must use the word SODOMY in his report when alleged sexual assault (or alternatively, alleged anal penetration without consent) will do the job nicely, and also sounds more clinically appropriate.

Personally, I would not have used the word SODOMY, I will let the lawyers argue about that later. As a doctor, I would be happy sticking to more familiar general terms such as alleged sexual assault, alleged forced anal penetration and the likes. Unless of course, I have been reading novels with plenty of SODOMY words in them and subconsciously flooded my head with that word, or perhaps someone had whispered the word to me over and over (and over) again. I would not have used the word SODOMY in my report because they are so many better alternatives. Professionally, for me, the word sodomy sounds too street and fit for lawyers, not doctors (wikipedia the word sodomy if you don't believe).

Anyway, on to something more purposeful...

I had written a few medical reports for the police in my short medical career. And let me impart some of my experience to budding doctors on handling assault cases and writing medical report for assault claims:-

(1) Every hospital should have a protocol for examination on raped/anally raped victim! Read them and familiarise yourselves with the law before touching the patient (in UK, rape victims go straight to the Police Doctor). Get a senior help if in doubt. If you are a very junior doc, you should never be involved in those cases in the first place. Take the advice of your medico-legal representative (every doctor should have one!) to clarify on the law if your senior on duty cannot be relied upon.

(2) In assault cases, you are expected to carry out a head to toe examination and document every little abnormality down. Never assume birth scars and never try to guess the age of injury. Write as observed. Do not form any assumptions during your initial examination.

(3) Do not put yourself in unnecessary legal predicament through poor choice of words. Use generalised descriptions such as ALLEGED ASSAULT; INJURY FROM CONTACT WITH OBJECT; PATIENT REPORTS DISCOMFORT IN _____ (anatomical location); etc. You get the drift. Try to avoid using specific adjectives in your report unless they are vital and necessary as part of life-saving measures; otherwise wait till the court demand for more specific answers later. You don't have to jump the gun.

(4) Do not hurry your job even if harassed by the Police. Your priority is your patient and his/hers confidentiality. The police cannot demand to see the medical report without consent from the patient; unless they have specific instruction from the court. Be firm with the Police. No one is above the law.

(5) If you can describe an event or injury clearly in few words, do it. No extra marks are given for lengthy prose.

Hope that helps.

Anwar and the Teletubbby with Light Saber

2008-07-27T11:40:00.004+08:00

I follow Anwar's speeches on Malaysiakini Youtube channel. But this image (in a recent gathering in Jasin) puzzles and worries me somewhat. A commentor said "teletubbies". I must go ask someone from Keadilan the reason for a masked bodyguard. Or it that only a parody of his recent overly zealous arrest?

Official government version:

Related reading:
I am changing my political persuasion for the better

Criticising people anonymously on blogs are cowards? (shared traits between bloggers and serial killers)

2008-07-27T00:22:00.008+08:00

There are several reasons why certain bloggers prefer to stay anonymous. They can write scathing stuff on their blogs and take it for granted that they have this wall of anonymity protecting them; life must be good! to have an internet alter ego with immunity. This kind of luxury is not afforded in real life. So is it cowardly of bloggers to criticise people on blogs anonymously? Not many can get away with a hypercritical attitude in their day-to-day lives without some lash back and certain social isolation in retaliation.

That is why blogosphere truly works in mysterious ways.

But in a different sense, the blogosphere is also a godsend. It can be an effective outlet for pent-up anger and frustrations. Perhaps one day someone will come up with a scientific study to show that blogosphere can indeed reduce the number of serial killers. Better to commit murder in this virtual world called the blogosphere than the other alternative: real life.

Here I want to highlight some startling similarities between serial killers and some popular or full-time bloggers:

(1) They tend to be intelligent, with IQ's in the "bright normal" range
Ok, not all blogs are that intelligent. But on average, bloggers are a bright bunch. It involves: turning on the computer, logging into the net, write/scribble, hit the publish button (occasionally fiddle with the blog template) - that's pretty smart for the average human. But referring to popular bloggers, I honestly think it takes more than simple brain-power to make us read their stuff and to keep us coming back for more. It's either they have the gift of words or just good at appearing pretty/sexy/provocative in pictures. Either way, they are smart enough to hold our fickle attention.

(2) They do poorly in school and have trouble holding down jobs
School high-achievers will usually go on to get some form of university scholarship that will probably bond them to some corporate slavework for years. So that rule them out from becoming full-time bloggers or murderers who need to do the impossible task of juggling between work punctuality and finding schemes after schemes to kill people and hide evidence.

(3) They tend to come from markedly unstable families
A loving mom or dad does not automatically make their family stable. A stable family typically consists of a husband-controlling wife and a husband with a 9-to-5 commitment with little dispensible income. So bloggers, if your parents are like that, you have reason to smile: you are from a stable home.

(4) As children, they are abandoned by their fathers and raised by domineering mothers
You have reason to wipe that smile away now.

(5) Their families often have criminal, psychiatric and alcoholic histories
Your parents might be clean, what about your uncle? Yes, that one. It all run in the genes. Attention-seeking behaviour, unprovoked scathing remarks and unneccessary negative blog commentaries are all borderline personality disorder. So even if your uncle have reasons to be unsound, what about yourself, famous bloggers?

(6) More than 60 percent of serial killers wet their beds beyond the age of 12
I just smell my bedsheet - no incriminating evidence!

(7) They are involved with sadistic activity or tormenting small creatures
A fancy word for this is zoosadism. I wonder if talking negatively about xiaxue (a subject in Guardian.co.uk) is another form of sadistic activity?

So you might ask what is relevance to (some) anonymous bloggers; well, both got reasons to hide in order to continue their work. Just like one of the most lethal serial killers in modern times: Batman - the dark knight version.

Bloggers are all friends: JUST SAY SORRY, MEAN IT AND MOVE ON

2008-07-26T10:38:00.002+08:00

This has to be more interesting than Anwar V Shabeery (or any UMNO minister). 2 hot (questionable?) bloggers have taken their fiestiness to a whole new level. One asked the other to retract her statements and to apologise. The person withdrew her statements by removing the blog article and sent a LETTER OF APOLOGY. But in her latest entry, she said:

As you've maybe seen on Straits Times, I am NOT going to apologize to Dawn.

But friend, you just sent a letter with the title LETTER OF APOLOGY. In Hokkien there is a phrase for this.... BEI GAM GUAN.

There are big differences between having an opinion and making false allegations. But why is a letter of apology NOT an act of apologizing?

Just apologize and close this sorry chapter. I like you both and I do not want to see any losers in this saga. Be peng yius again, can?

Don't believe what ONE REPUBLIC said, it is NEVER too late to apologize.

How to boost your blog traffic overnight; and why we have so many free Chelsea-Malaysia football tickets on blogosphere (scared no one wanna see?)

2008-07-25T11:51:00.007+08:00

SECRET REVEALED: Tap into China internet user market!

BEIJING, China (AP) -- China says its fast-growing population of Internet users has surpassed the United States to become the world's biggest, with 253 million people on-line at the end of June.

China's Web usage is growing at explosive rates despite government efforts to block access to sites deemed subversive or pornographic. The financial size of China's on-line market trails those of the United States, South Korea and other countries.

The China Internet Network Information Center said Friday the latest figure on Internet users is a 56 percent increase over the same time last year.

According to Nielsen Online, a research firm, the United States had an estimated 223.1 million Internet users in June.

According to CNNIC, China's Internet penetration is still low at just 19.1 percent. (now that is scary!)

But frankly, most of Malaysian and Singaporean bloggers don't give too much for traffic. It is those advertisers who are pestering and championing the need to boost readership bla bla bla. Hence, why do you see so many free Chelsea-Malaysia football tickets floating about on the local blogosphere (given away only after you have written glowing commentary on a product, which most readers and young bloggers do not touch or drink --- ahem, h******ken --- there I just cleared my throat).Everything is tagged to a product these days. Sooner or later, blogs will be all about product placement. Our biggest nightmare coming true, and I am part if it. Damn.

Amber is a nice girl

2008-07-23T08:59:00.002+08:00

I am not a fan of rumours, so when I heard Amber Chia is releasing an autobiography, I cannot wait to "browse through" from start page to end page at a nearby bookstore. You see in the financial circle, I get to hear all kinds of stories, true and otherwise. I disagree with previous reports that she was a husband stealer (technically and legally, no such thing as husband stealing anyway, neh neh neh). One of them was Amber Chia at the Public Bank (annual?) dinner and a rendezvous with a corporate figure. I believe Amber is a nice girl, and will never do anything that will ruin her good reputation. I will support her Chris Crocker style if someone blast her. I mean it, I mean it.

To those who have nothing nice to say about Amber, don't say it. Leave her alone.

Regards xxxx, an Amber Chia Fan.

Future career for bright and smart Malaysians, yes, I am talking to you

2008-07-22T11:49:00.005+08:00

Career advice from me, free of charge. This is what you should be aiming for...

Nuclear Energy/Uranium sourcing industry

Our oil and gas will not be able to support our country's energy demand for long. Malaysia is currently running feasibility studies on building a nuclear power plant as a future source of electricity energy. This nuclear dream will not materialise overnight, but by 2015 onwards, expect to see a surge in demand for nuclear physicists, engineers and safety officers (aka Homer Simpson) in Malaysia. And not many people will mess with you if you tell them that you control the national nuclear power plant - hence the added sexiness of power. I seriously believe this is a super-lucrative industry, and many retrenched Petronas workers (when oil and gas running out and not so hot already, so let these young geezers boast and brag about their Petronas position, because that won't last too long) will migrate to this one. To build a nuclear plant is obviously not cheap, RM10 billion for a medium size 1000 MW plant. Assuming the current administration in still power, expect some brotherly money leakages to subsidiary companies. So seniors workers may profit from many internal deals (corrupt mind required). But if Anwar succeeds to take over power and run this country, assuming he keeps his promises to run the country clean and fair, workers in this industry will still stand to benefit - through the rational process of increased competition and better wage structure. So win-win for nuclear workers whoever governs the country.

Frankly, it is better to have a non-corrupt government once we have a nuclear plant. I feel a lot safer that way. I don' want any mediocre tom, dick and harry to run it.

Islamic Finance

Non-Muslims are qualified to run this industry. You can be a Syariah-cum-Finance expert without becoming a Muslim. So this is an open industry. Middle Eastern/Gulf money (trillions and trillions) tend to seek out Syariah-compliant funds. So you could just be a simpleton analyst (or the much-loathed middlemen of any financial kind) working for a Middle Eastern intermediary in Malaysia, and you will be fed enough wealth to excrete petroleum through your other end. Take it from me, in this short life of yours, much of your career happiness depends on chance meeting and pure luck, and NOT brains per se. So position yourself in the great company of Gulf men. Look pass their costume and hirsute appearance.

Currently, experts are still ironing out important differences and disagreement within the global Islamic banking industry. What is Syariah-compliant in Malaysia today may not be Syariah-compliant in Kuwait. But don't be disheartened kids. By the time you reach Form 5, the industry will mature enough to reach some uniformity that you won't feel like you are leaving the chaotic life of school just to enter an even more chaotic existence in finance. Let me rephrase that. When you grow up, just join the Islamic banks.

Prime Minister of Malaysia

To school leavers and SPM-floppers, don't despair. Anyone who can form a coherent argument can do this job, so your mamak-stall conversational skills may not be sia-sia (wasted) afterall. The real requirement to run for PM office lies in your attitude, not intellect alone. I know many intelligent people who would make horrible PMs. Example, Dr House. I am being serious, Malaysia is lacking good future PM contenders. Our current stock of MPs just do not cut it for me. I want someone as gutsy as Tun M, as gabby as Anwar, and as gungho as Tunku to be my leader come 2020. If you are the one, please apply now.

How to write your own joke and then tell it with a straight face: The Terengganu Government Mercedes Case Study

2008-07-21T16:57:00.003+08:00

MB on why Terengganu bought Mercedes cars (my comments, as usual, in RED)

KUALA TERENGGANU (the ever reliable Star): The state government has defended the purchase of 14 Mercedes E200 Kompressor cars at RM3.43mil for the use of its state executive councillors and senior officials.

Nice.

Mentri Besar Datuk Ahmad Said said the state government had planned to purchase the cars for a long time now to replace its Proton Perdana V6 Executive fleet in a move to cut cost.

It's getting interesting.

“Please understand that the Proton Perdanas go through continuous long-distance journeys. It’s costing us a lot of money due to high cost of maintenance.

“We are not saying that the national car is not good (yes you are!) but in reality we are coughing up more money for maintaining the Proton Perdanas, particularly the gear boxes (easy scapegoat)” he said.

Ahmad cited the example of the Proton Perdana of state Commerce, Industry and Environment committee chairman Toh Chin Yaw, which has twice undergone expensive repairs costing RM50,000 within 36 months.

Solution: Interrogate the mechanic, the solution is not to spent on Mercedes. I am not suggesting anyone stealing anyone's money, but if I am evil and I hold the power to approve repair fee, I would mark up the repair invoice and split the profit between myself and mechanic. I do not recommend this immoral activity.

“In the long run, Mercedes cars are cheaper to maintain and could also save us fuel costs.

“This is the state’s long-term plan – we are farsighted. The cars could also fetch a high market price, when sold as second-hand cars.

“We studied all angles before deciding to buy the Mercedes E200 cars,” he added.

Sure, the nice angles and design on a Mercedes.

Ahmad also denied that the oil royalty money was used to buy the cars.

“In the first place we have yet to receive the oil royalties from the Federal Government.

“The funds to procure the cars were from our own coffers and has nothing to do with the oil royalties,” he said.

Isn't your coffers the Rakyat coffers too? Or am I missing something?

I am changing my political persuasion for the better

2008-07-20T23:46:00.004+08:00

I have previously stated that Pak Lah is a pretty good PM. Given his apparent sleep-mode style administration (as some have argued), a lot of positive changes unseen during the times of Tun M, are taking place. I pointed out media liberalisation as one of them.

But I am beginning to see some flaws in this thinking (i.e. my thinking).

Many of these changes are really forced upon the present administration. Hence, reinforcing the earlier sleep-mode governance argument. Presently, the government are able to license and regulate printed and broadcast media, but with the advent of internet and blogs, their grip on information control are slipping fast. So you see, the act of liberalising the media industry is not exactly a forward thinking government initiative - more like a last gasp decision to appear savvy and open, to rescue itself from dwindling popularity.

Blogs and the internet are disseminating views contrary to the official government-approved messages, as carried by mainstream media, and the administration are just watching haplessly from the sidelines. Fortunately for us (and unfortunately for them), they haven't figured an effective way to clamp down on blogs without hurting their post-8 March credibility further.

So I stand corrected. The administration is indeed sleepwalking itself into a dangerous territory. Many of their policies are simply knee-jerk reactions to the development around them - so that does not make good governance. That in fact, makes us look even more uncool for allowing and electing them to make decision on the country's and ultimately the Rakyat's future.

I stand corrected. (yes, it has taken me awhile to see it - but rather late than never- don't wanna be like the blinkered 51 years old government)

I seriously think we do have a viable alternative. I am changing my political persuasion before it's too late.

30 minutes: That's right, keep it up, keep it up, don't be a pri, hey madonna, uh

2008-07-18T11:10:00.005+08:00

KUALA LUMPUR (The Star): PKR de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim would not have been able to turn up for his scheduled appointment at the city police headquarters on time.

Deputy Home Minister Datuk Wan Farid Wan Salleh said Anwar was supposed to have gone straight to the police headquarters here after his interview at the Anti Corruption Agency in Putrajaya.

“Instead, he was on his way home. He couldn’t possibly have made it on time.

“The police were just executing a warrant of arrest against Anwar,” he told reporters in the Parliament lobby on Wednesday.

Wan Farid was commenting on the arrest of Anwar, who was picked up in front of his house in Bukit Segambut for investigations after a former aide had lodged a sodomy report against him.

Asked why the police had not waited until 2pm before making the arrest, Wan Farid said: “What’s the difference between 20 or 50 minutes?”

“According to the information I received, he went voluntarily to the police car without any incident and that under police custody, he has given his full cooperation,” he said.

This is Wan Farid Wan Salleh.

He is a male.

He comes from Terengganu, land of the near extinct turtles (certain species).

He now works for the Government.

He has a nice smile. Sometimes he wears the songkok.

He is a diligent and obedient minister, doing what he is supposed to do.

He is the Deputy Home Minister.

He ~~reacts~~ responds when the newspaper people ask him question.

Someone asked him why the police had not waited until 2pm before arresting Anwar (Anwar had earlier promised to go to see Police at 2pm), he said:

“What’s the difference between 20 or 50 minutes?”

He is clever.

Because he is now famous for this quote.

Answer:

The Irony of The Iron-Fisted

2008-07-18T08:56:00.002+08:00

I am not accusing anyone of being a despot. History and past performances are the best judges.

I just like this ironical, most telling remark from our beloved Tun (screenshot from his blog).

He congratulated Pak Lah for allowing the live televised debate. Why congratulate?

Possible conclusions:
(Is Tun admitting that...?)

(1) Malaysian media is not completely independent. PM has the power to allow and disallow certain dissemination of information aka live debate with Opposition?

(2) Pak Lah is revolutionary? Congratulatory wish like this implies certain achievement for Pak Lah and his administration with regard to media liberalisation, which was unheard and unseen before (during Tun's time)?

You see, blogs can indeed reveal a lot...

Dawn and Xiaxue are actually promoters of the same product! The winner is...

2008-07-17T09:12:00.002+08:00

Welcome to the new (friendly?) popularity/traffic contest between Xiaxue and Dawn. Both were given the same product to pimp. Ha, ha... nice ploy Kotex. Maybe Kotex should consider giving the advertorial to a male blogger next time, we write more interesting stuff about female sanitary towels.

I don't like feuding (pretend or not) bloggers. It may make interesting reading, but I think it kills creativity in the long run.(I will give my reasons next time)

The winner in this contest: ~~Neither Xiaxue nor Dawn~~ it is Kotex.

(Champion debator) Anwar arrested: First pictures

2008-07-16T16:25:00.008+08:00

Not many can look this 'cheerful' going to the hospital to have a DNA test following a sodomy allegation. He's one cool ~~dude~~ man.

Concerned daughter and members of public/media...

Earlier...
Just before...

The night before...
More to follow...

Copying from the best (is perfectly okay, I think)

2008-07-15T00:13:00.006+08:00

8 lessons of leadership from ~~Pak Lah~~ Mendela

No. 1
Courage is not the absence of fear — it's inspiring others to move beyond it
No. 2
Lead from the front — but don't leave your base behind
No. 3
Lead from the back — and let others believe they are in front
No. 4
Know your enemy — and learn about his favorite sport
No. 5
Keep your friends close — and your rivals even closer
No. 6
Appearances matter — and remember to smile
No. 7
Nothing is black or white
No. 8
Quitting is leading too

Additional comment from SSL: Never let anyone fool you into thinking that he is doing his best, unless they have super concrete evidence like so... (click to enlarge the super-tasteless picture below- you've been warned)

you can still bail out (do not scroll down further)

now that is dedication and leading from back, side and all over....

The quality of your blog is reflected by the quality of your readers' comments

2008-07-10T10:41:00.003+08:00

Q E D. (click image to enlarge)

why we should not snub Innit even if it banned/snubbed us: the SSL "violin-music" story

2008-07-10T09:48:00.003+08:00

Robin said...: innit ban you???
why?; July 09, 2008 7:33 PM
Sisuahlai said...: Robin, that one you have to ask Timothy and his cool Nuffnang gang.

Oh, if you don't get replies from them, these posts might help you unravel the mystery.

http://www.themediaslut.com/2008/05/1026

http://sisuahlai.blogspot.com/2008/05/is-nuffnang-working-for-us.html

Btw, it is still a mystery.; July 09, 2008 7:49 PM
Robin said...: i see...; July 09, 2008 8:27 PM

As much as blog aggregator would like us to believe that this is a community for us to share blog ideas, good or bad, they also have their idiosyncrasies and regulations. What is appropriate to us, might not be appropriate to their administrators. I have previously said that Innit belongs to Nuffnang, so really, I am fine (ok, grind my teeth a little maybe) with them setting the ground rules (whatever they may be). I am not bitter with the Innit ban, I am more puzzled by it if anything. Personally, banning bloggers from aggregator sites is counterproductive to the transparency culture that blogosphere is trying so hard to promote. Any notion that the ad agency is "bad for your health" could have been dealt with more amicably e.g. open discussion, and not silencing the blogger with ban and falling for the "I have been defamed" paranoia. (This is my suggestion, and I won't charge you a single sen for it, because I am nice like that.)

Back from 2-month Innit addiction rehab. SSL.

(Apologies for this ultra-boring entry about Innit. This will be the last one about the Innit's ban for the next 30 days, I am also very weary writing about it!)

What have you done now Bung?? (caught red-handed!)

2008-07-09T08:49:00.002+08:00

From the Star: A HAND gesture by Datuk Bung Mokhtar (BN - Kinabatangan) during the question-and-answer session in the morning was a source of much dispute in the Dewan yesterday. (more here)

Bung Mokhtar maintained he had not made any lewd gesture as he had merely slapped the back of his left hand with his right palm.

“I don’t know what the interpretation of this is. I don’t feel I did anything wrong,” he told reporters.

The incident happened during the first half of the question-and-answer session, when Bung Mokhtar said there were more questions from the Opposition members listed down in the Order Paper compared to the backbenchers.

Now see this...

Now who is LYING??

Tsk, tsk, tsk...

Update 9 July 3pm:

Kinabatangan MP: Yes, I did it but... (from malaysiakini, Jul 9, 08 1:46pm)

Bung Mokhtar Radin (Kinabatangan - BN) today made an about-turn by admitting making an obscene gesture in the Dewan Rakyat during a dispute with some of Pakatan Rakyat MPs yesterday.

Maybe he just saw his pic on SSL. Maybe.

why this blog is the best of the best of the best...

2008-07-07T12:04:00.002+08:00

Technorati indexes and ranks about 113 million blogs worldwide. That roughly translates to 1 blog to every 50 living humans. And to make the statistics appears even more impressive, Technorati ranking also includes blogs from popular sites such as MySpace. Basically, no blogs are spared - so the ranking is one hell of a monster ranking. So to be ranked top 1/100th on Technorati is rather cool. I never thought SSL can be that cool. To flatter myself a little bit more, SSL is actually ranked 170,000 among the 113,000,000 blogs out there (top 0.15th). Respect, to myself. That's creme de la creme. Yay.

Then I did a little anti-narcissistic reality check...

Mind you, 70% new blogs peter out within 6 months of starting, so the index now should really shrink to 33.9 million.

Out of the 33.9 million blogs, only 10% have regular updates - the rest, with less than 1 new blog entry a week, do not qualify as a typical blog. So that slashes down the index to 3.39 million.

3.39 million is not a lot. I also have to come to grips with the fact that out of these 3.39 million hosted on blogspot, wordpress, etc, some of them are actually bot-sites or trap links with the sole purpose of generating traffic. You google for Britney Spears pantless and will find some blog links with zero entry except flickering images of porns. I will give it a conservative value of 40% - so that reduces the number of real blogs to 2 million.

Out of 2 million, 1 million is non-English. I'm suddenly outside the top 1/10th English-blog ranking.

Sigh. How did I end up average?

"Then you must learn to blog like us."

Rocker strips pants and bends down at audience at anti-fuel hike protest gathering (pictures of retribution included)

2008-07-06T23:49:00.001+08:00

From the Star...

A singer stripped his trousers and showed his boxer shorts during a concert at the anti-fuel price increase rally in Kelana Jaya stadium (on) Sunday.

The lead singer of rock band Carburettor Dung was halfway through a song at about 7pm when he dropped his pants and exposed his boxer shorts.

His antics resulted in the audience hurling abuses and throwing bottles at him. Security volunteers had to escort the singer and his band members off the stage while event organisers tried to calm the crowd.

LESSON: Don't mess with an already unhappy and disgruntled crowd.

Images from Hard-T.

Ouch! Why is he biting the guy's peepee?
more pics here

Unluckiest man! (warning: terrible pictures of misfortune)

2008-07-03T11:32:00.002+08:00

Do you remember that scene from Kungfu Hustle, where Stephen Chow's character got stabbed three times? That has to be the funniest scene ever, because we simply love the combination of arrogance, pain and misfortune - in movies.

Well, I have found another character that tops his misfortune. This character is none other than the French footballer Djibril Cisse. And this is no movie.

Left leg...

Right leg...

Now that is unlucky.

how blogging creates unnecessary bitching armageddon that will probably end in tears

2008-07-02T14:00:00.005+08:00

The blogosphere is very rich with poor blogging ideas. And people with inflated self-image (e.g. me). I have been following the cat calling the pussy, cat (or something about a pot and a kettle) battle on the internet. One particular blogger sees herself as a proper blogger and accuses the other of being a desperate wannabe, talentless schmuck (among many things). The "talentless schmuck" did not take it on the chin, instead she went to see a solicitor. And the result is....

...we won't be seeing this kind of classic shot for a long time, if ever!!

Can you two still be friends, please? This is so unnecessary.

best, most honest, interview ever...

2008-07-02T11:43:00.001+08:00

The independents should really rule the country... :) Check out this interview published in today's NST.

At the parliamentary debate on the government’s efforts to address inflation on Monday, sole Independent MP Datuk Paduka Ibrahim Ali stood up and really let rip; firing salvos at the government and opposition benches.

Q: On Monday, you seemed very angry with all the Members of Parliament. Why?

A: I expected the debate to concentrate on the price hike. But when they start debating, I saw it divert. Speeches became political -- accusing each other on matters not related to the price hike.

Everyone brought up issues that had already been said in Parliament and this took up time.

So, when petty things cropped up, and people still repeat what was said before, I became a little bit angry. That's why I stood up and spoke my mind.
They said, "We have to go on an austerity drive. So, the government cut 10 per cent off cabinet members' entertainment allowance."

I don't like it. Especially when there were accusations against others, and I know the accuser's background.

If you want to accuse others and say "You are morally no good", you must make sure you yourself are good. If you want to say that people are dirty, you must make sure you are really clean.

So, when I listen to members from the government bench or opposition bench accusing this and that, yet at the same time I know their background, I cannot take it.

If you live lavishly, in a big bungalow, where did you get the money? If you do business, how come you can make so much profit? "Sama saja lah!" (pot calling the kettle black). That's why I said, "Don't talk, lah. Because I know your background."

I didn't intend to create trouble or make people angry. I just wanted them to do their job.

We should value the time of Parliament and be focused.

I did my homework for the debate. I couldn't say what I wanted to say, because the debate went off-course. If in Parliament people are professional, then you will follow the trend.

If the trend is a hoo-hah kind of trend, we will also become hoo-hah. That's why I became angry.

Q: What did you expect from the MPs?

A: That first we would discuss whether or not there is a price hike globally, and whether, since we are an oil-producing country with a small population, is it justified (to raise the price of petrol).

I wanted to look into how we decide whether Petronas money is being properly managed.

"Properly" doesn't just mean during Pak Lah's time (as prime minister). It can even mean during (Tun Dr) Mahathir's (Mohamed) time. Without fear or favour.

We should have concentrated on whether the way the government is restructuring the subsidy is the correct thing to do. At the moment, the government is implementing this follow-up action in an ad-hoc manner. There is no holistic plan.

Because of the hoo-hah, the debate touches a little bit on this, a little bit on that, and we don't achieve anything.

Q: Were you for or against the price hike?

A: I'm quite in between. I agree there's a price hike globally, and don't intend to politicise the issue.

But even if there's a price hike globally, I want to know what the government will do to overcome this problem.

As far as the price hike is concerned, it should go gradually, not shocking like what happened. The way the government announced it was not proper.

The news leaked out about 4pm and the cars were lining up so long at the petrol stations that some of the car-owners couldn't observe the Maghrib (sunset) prayers.

There should not have been a leak. So, at midnight, the government should announce that the price hike takes effect in the morning, so there won't be a rush for the petrol pumps.

Q: Are the tax rebates sufficient?

A: I don't think so.

We are debating the RM900 wage. But someone sent me an SMS, saying even those who are earning RM2,000-RM3,000 cannot survive.

I used to pump RM100 worth in my car, and it would bring the petrol gauge needle to three-quarters the tank. Now, it's below half.

So, you can imagine how it is for a family - not only the house rental, or house loan repayment, car, and children's needs.

So, earning RM3,000-RM4,000 is meaningless.

In America, Britain and other western countries, if the petrol price goes up to $7 a litre it's okay as their per capita income is high.

In Singapore, it's US$8,000-$9,000, but for us, it's US$2,000. How can that be enough?

Q: Have you been receiving a lot of SMSes on this?

A: More than 1,000.

I've been quite rational about this. Although I sympathise with the issue, when there were demonstrations, I didn't participate.

Not that I'm the type to be afraid. I've been to (jail under the) Internal Security Act twice.

I understand the price hike is global, but I'm not happy with the way the government handled the matter.

I don't want to go down to the street to protest an issue I know there's justification, because that's just looking for publicity. That's why I criticised the four PKR members for cycling (to Parliament).

I told Gobalakrishnan, "Debate professionally."

Sometimes, you can have a political gimmick. (But) I told Gobala, "Things like this must be thought out properly. Now you cycle to Parliament, the four of you, as if you are telling the nation you are the only group who are fighting.

"I came here today with a car. As if I don't fight like you are fighting. So, you are unfair; you are purely looking for publicity."

I'm more interested in getting the input, the proposals and putting them to the government.

If the government doesn't take all 10 proposals, then at least one or two can be accepted.

Then I'd feel happy that I've done something for the people.

There is a time for protesting, like last time, when we were students. Now, you've been voted (into Parliament) by the people, so, now you have Parliament as a venue.

For those who are not MPs, they don't have a venue, so they can go and demonstrate.

We should give the government some time first and see what it can do. If after six or seven months it's still not working, then we take another step.

Demonstration is the last resort.

Q: You said neither the government nor opposition MPs are in a position to talk on this point, because they all receive allowances.

A: Yes. For example, the Constitution allows a person to contest both parliamentary and state seats. So, a person contests and wins both seats, and is also made the menteri besar.

Do you know how much travel cost is incurred by an MP?

I put my address in KL, so I don't claim travel expenses. I only claim air-fare if I go back to my constituency. The rest I don't claim.

But, if a person wants to claim, with laundry included, all in, he gets RM12,000 a month from Parliament. If he holds a state seat too, that's another RM8,000. So, combined, it's easily RM20,000.

This applies to all MPs. Just the ordinary members. So, imagine if you are a menteri besar.

And then, someone said he flies economy class. That's all.

If I were a chief minister, I'd give my Parliament salary to orphans. Then baru class.

But if it's only to the point of flying economy class... Sometimes, when business class is full, you have to fly economy, whether you like it or not.

It's no big deal. Cheap publicity.

So, it means he attacks the government to show, "I'm a chief minister, but I fly economy."

That's not a good thing to do. It's too small a gesture. It should be more challenging, more tangible.

The same as riding the bicycle. If you want to show you are really opposing the price hike, then really sacrifice, do something people can see and feel the effect. Otherwise, it's no use, it's purely political.

Q: MPs fly first class or business class every weekend. It adds up. Wouldn't it also help if all MPs resolve to only fly economy class?

A: Yes, I agree. That's what I'm trying to say.

I remember, when I was a deputy minister for a while. That's when I realised, no wonder people like to be a minister.

Even if you have a salary, if you go on official duty to certain areas, if there's mileage, you can claim!

If a minister goes to officiate a parent-teacher association meeting, you can claim. If you go to a coffeehouse, even though there's no government business, if all your political friends come around you and eat, you sign and you can claim.

At Hari Raya you have an open house. I thought, "Wah! Open house. I never do this."

I'm not saying I'm very good, but on these things I'm quite cautious. As a former student leader, I feel shy.

I went to the open house of a deputy minister. Two thousand people! I looked at the canopy - fantastic! If it's RM15 per head, you calculate how much that is.

Some open houses cost RM50 per head. So, RM30,000-RM40,000 is spent on a Hari Raya gathering.

Q: All this is claimable?

A: Yes. But only if you are the minister, deputy minister or MP. A political secretary also gets a lot of perks. A car, a driver, laundry. But only when parliament is in session.

But a minister and deputy minister gets allowances for house, maid, driver - all sorts of things. And then, every year, a holiday.

That's why Pak Lah could announce a cut in the holiday allowance - only in Asean and only for three persons. Last time, how many?

I didn't do this, so that's why I dare to talk.

For instance, a person is entitled to one holiday a year with his family.

And this is how a scam can work: I bring 15-20 supporters with me. They take a room in a hotel in London or wherever, and the bill is made out to me.

I can take five or six rooms, but the room details are not disclosed. It's all my friends staying. And paid for by the government. A real abuse.

How could I say all this when I only had 15 minutes?

I wanted to come to Parliament and give a good factual speech. But time constraints and this hoo-hah hoo-hah. So, that's why I feel so upset, and I also hoo-hah hoo-hah.

So, I go back to my old days, which I wanted to change. But the environment doesn't allow me to.

Q: You said, if government wants to save money, do it properly.

A: Do it properly means, prudent management. Celebrations, festivals. A 10 per cent cut on entertainment allowance is not enough!

Is it noble for us to say, "This year, even though there's going to be Hari Raya, there will be no Hari Raya gathering at the house, the government will not pay for the minister or deputy minister"?

I talked about the Jabatan Hal Ehwal Khas (Jasa) under the Information Ministry. They are gathering all the (Umno) ketua cawangan (division chiefs), according to state.

Some states send two, three thousand people. They come to Kuala Lumpur and stay in hotels. The speakers are Pak Lah and (Umno information chief ) Muhammad Muhammad Taib, and they talk on Umno.

Jasa said, "It's not a campaign; we invite these people to give talks on price hike, all the current issues."

That's fair enough; but why didn't you invite others, like non-government organisations from Kelantan, Terengganu, Kedah?

This is what resulted in Umno being defeated in these states. BN has the power, but the people rejected it, because these are the things they object to. Hotel, transport - all paid for by Jasa.

Celebrations. So many celebrations, like Hari Merdeka, the launch of Labour Day or whatever day. You will see thousands of people brought into KL from various agencies. And it's all paid for by the government.

Gatherings: The prime minister visits the state and officiates a factory. The MB wants to impress upon the PM that he is a terror punya menteri besar (a good MB). So, when the PM comes, 5,000 supporters turn up, and the PM thinks, "You are a good MB."

Do you know how much is spent on transportation, food, tents?

They think doing this shows the public supports the government. But, at the end of the day, it becomes the other way around.

I've been overseas many times and I've attended quite a number of functions organised by the government where their ministers and even the prime minister is present.

No bunga manggar! So simple. When they have a conference, there are no corsages or rosettes for the VIP, and no kompang. And the VIP don't care if the press don't come.

Just shake hands with people and go. And they only eat a little bit, no lavish spread.

But, at the end of the day, they won the elections.

There is no point in having a big function, spending a lot of money, but the stomach of the people is empty.

You belanja besar (spend a lot of money), but people feel now semua harga barang-barang naik (everything goes up).

At the end of the day, election comes, you lose.

So, it doesn't matter that it's a small programme, or that it's not glamorous. But (what matters is) the people feel okay.

Malaysians are very kind.

They get angry because the price of goods go up, and there's not enough money. When they look at their leaders living lavish lives, driving big cars, they become angry.

But if they see their leaders are suffering too, then they are not angry. Sama-sama (everyone suffers together). This is very important.

But here, leaders nak tunjuk aje (just want to show off). Nak tunjuk glamour, tapi actually kalah (want to be glamourous, but actually lose).

Never mind if there aren't a lot of people at the functions. As long as the people are more happy.

When government offices have their gathering, everyone is forced to attend. If they don't attend, it will be recorded. So, they go.

But look at teachers. A lot of teachers, when they work with the government, they support BN. Once they retire, all support opposition. Why? Because they were forced last time. If we hadn't forced them last time, they wouldn't be angry with us.

It doesn't matter if they don't come for the gathering, as long as, at the end of the day, they vote for BN.

The approach is wrong.

Q: The other very interesting question you raised was whether the government or the prime minister really understands what people are going through on the ground. Now why would you say that?

A: Firstly, the motion on Monday should've been presented by the prime minister, but it was put forward by Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk Shahrir (Abdul Samad). But this is a major issue. So people want to listen to a reply by Pak Lah.

The prime minister should present the motion by having a plan.

And Parliament should have allowed three or four days to debate, instead of just one.

With Malaysian people, if it's been explained properly and the government really has a justification, they will accept it.

Kalau zaman susah pemimpin jalan kaki, rakyat jalan kaki tak apa.

Kalau zaman susah pemimpin naik kereta, rakyat kena jalan kaki - ah, rakyat mengamuk.

Now you look at us - give money, take people for meals, carry people around in a bus and have them meet Pak Lah and when we ask if they are sure they will vote (for the government), they reply: "Sure!"

And then what did they do?

How are we going to determine that this will not happen in the next election?

How many one night stands make you a stud?

2008-06-30T10:17:00.000+08:00

Most women view sex as a prelude to a wonderful, romantic journey, and some men see it as a wonderful conclusion to one. That is the difference; do we really need a research for this? (check out the quote in the article, even the writer couldn't believe the researcher is a professor from Durham Uni)

Football betting kills...

2008-06-26T12:13:00.001+08:00

The family decided to tell the story (to the Star) as a lesson for all of us.

Farm manager drinks weed killer after RM90,000 gaming loss

TANJUNG SEPAT: He said he had given up betting on football but the lure of Euro 2008 proved too much for Chuang Toh Huat. In the end, he paid for his love of betting with his life. Some 12 hours after the Spain versus Italy quarterfinal match, he was found in a semi-conscious state after drinking weed killer.

“I have given more than RM1mil to pay off his debts and he promised he wouldn't do it again,” said his father Hock Meng, 56, yesterday when met at his house in Taman Pelangi. Read more.

It is so sad that a little bit of fun can get so out of control.

Previous (warning) article: When living is tough, prepare to make more spontaneous, bad decisions

How to slaughter a well-formed song on 'moral' reasons with 'creative' sound editing

2008-06-26T09:55:00.005+08:00

The guys at Hitz.fm continue to amuse. I say amuse as in to wallow myself in laughter mixed with grief and disbelief.

I have earlier written an entry on Kate Perry's single, I, a female smooched a fellow female and I loved it! because it was liberalising to hear song about hedonistic (lesbianic?) overture being played over our national radiowaves. But good things do not last long, the smooching part was soon edited out to cater to the presumed Malaysian social norm. I wrote that the resultant effect was worse, the edited version sounded even more profane and wrong.

One anon commentor, purportedly someone from Hitz.fm, wrote:

Hey there i'm actually working for hitz.fm and i tell you you won't believe the arguments that we had in the office over this song ever since it got into rotation. Don't get me wrong i totally agree with you that the editing is really unnecessary and it just made the song sounds more vulgar than it is. But then again we do have the local ministry of communication watching our every move(and mind you they really monitor especially US)So when i finally stumble upon this blog than i know that i have a solid ammo to back the fact the the edit is actually making the song sounds more vulgar and i'm not the only 1 that is feeling that way.So i manage to convince them to flip the edit instead.Thank you for bringing up the point of case and actually listening to us. Thanks again.

Anon, you are most welcome. (check out the choice of word ammo, that sounded like a modern gun-culture equivalent of back-stabbing. :P!)

Guess what? The song was changed once again!

This time they left in the word KISS. Instead they muffled out the word girl!! The latest version (heard it yesterday at around 6.30pm) goes like this:

I kissed a muffmuff and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a muffmuff just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a muffmuff and I liked it
I liked it

Sweet idea Hitz.fm. Only if we, the listeners are kids. Everyone can work out what they did. How else do you explain "I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it", "It felt so wrong, it felt so right"? Please don't slaughter a perfectly formed song, just because you like the tune but do not condone the lyric does not make such editing acceptable. It ruins a good song.

:( , besides is it really that wrong to kiss a girl?

I don't go to gay clubs. But I have a feeling this Kate Perry number is a popular hit in those clubs. Can anyone confirm?

If the average chick buys only ONE pair of shoes every year, the money saved could buy her a nice property! SAVE girl, SAVE.

2008-06-24T09:19:00.001+08:00

I'd like to share this piece with you...

Women are less likely than men to put money into a savings account regularly, and those who do typically save less.

If you want to kick-start the savings habit, set up a direct debit which deposits a fixed sum into a savings account at the start of each month after pay day.

Don’t be tempted to leave it to the end of the month and see what is left — the chances are you will have spent it already.

Many women want to keep their money in an accessible account, not least because they often have more irregular earning patterns than men, with some taking time out of the workplace to bring up children, for example.

Building a nest egg will give you this flexibility — and if you save into a cash ISA the money is available as and when you need it. If you want, you can always convert this into a pension at a later date, to take advantage of the valuable tax relief.

And don’t rely on meeting Mr Right.

Carrie Bradshaw may have found her Mr Big but how will it turn out in the end?

Don’t bank on finding a ready-made man — start standing on your own two feet now.

If a rich guy does appear, he may be pleased that you’re able to provide for yourself — at least he’ll know you aren’t after him for his money!

DON'T YOU AGREE?

Why being on ping.sg top ten is better than innit top ten

2008-06-23T23:46:00.000+08:00

I have nothing against nuffnang's innit (despite my 2-month ban). I still think the world of nuffnang, their courage to go into blogosphere-specific advertising and their latest metered/buffered campaigns (their best effort explanation is commendable, but I am none the wiser what those words mean in mathematical terms, but never mind) . But I won't be too critical, as I have been reminded on numerous occasions to count my blessings, give thanks and don't be an ungrateful bastard. Nuffnang money can feed me with few packets of maggi mee each week till the end of 2008, so I must really be grateful for all their hard work and ability to match appropriate ads to my blog. Thank you.

Now back to the subject title. I have been on ping.sg's and innit's daily top ten most read/pings/nangs with entries on the Sisuahlai blog. But I will now come clean. I get more satisfaction by being on ping.sg most read than on innit's 24hour top 10 table. Why?

If you haven't spotted the obvious, it is the sort of readership you get on ping.sg and the contents on ping.sg top 10. No doubt both have their share of ridiculous no-brainer must read entries that made it to the top, like an entry about a penis in the sea (huh?) and other unmentionable titles.

To cut a long story short, here is a summary why I think being on ping.sg top ten is better, more satisfying than being on its counterpart's daily top ten read...

(1) Just look at ping.sg top ten blog contents. And compare them to the other one. The words petty and trivial comes to mind for one of them, virtually all of the time.

(2) Malaysian and Singaporean blogosphere legitimize the butchering and massacring of the English language. But the equivalent of an English language war-crime is somehow more tolerable on ping.sg. That's a compliment btw.

(3) Ping.sg top ten shows the actual initial portion of the blog entry. So you will find less misleading titles on ping.sg top ten blog entries.

(4) Easier to update and post your blog entry on ping.sg. One is an automatic BMW, the other is a manual gear kereta lembu. Comparatively speaking.

(5) Pleasant lay-out. Ok, I am being pedantic now.

There you go, 5 reasons why i think ping.sg rocks over the other one!

My new favicon

2008-06-23T10:04:00.001+08:00

Coldplay New Album (see topless lady on album cover!), Vote of No-Confidence, Experiment with a Blog Template, Russia will win Euro, Brazilian Ladies

2008-06-22T17:11:00.003+08:00

The week that was that, and this, and a little bit more of that. I have reverted back to the original Sisuahlai minima black blog template as I could not fix some bugs on the new template, the white background Gecko template. Never mind. I am still looking out for a clean simple bloggerspot template... let me know if you know a good link. Thanks.

Yeah, I (got out and) bought Coldplay's latest album -Viva La Vida. The album was released earlier this month, but we still haven't got a Malaysian release/edition, and thanks to my impatience, and schoolboy eagerness, I simply gave myself no choice but to buy the heavily priced imported CD. I am listening to it now, on repeat as I normally warm to Coldplay stuff only after the 4th or 5th repeat. A bit like listening to church hymms/choir songs, the tunes are not earth-shattering stuff, but it is the mood that makes those rhythm and words so beautiful. You and I know that Coldplay seldom do bubblegum immediates.

Thought processes during several rounds of listening to Coldplay's Viva La Vida:
1st: RM48.50 is not cheap man!
2nd: Hmm... what if I ripped those songs and then return the CD to the shop?
3rd: hey, I can hum to some of the tunes
4th: This is not bad stuff! Be my mirror, my sword, and shield, my missionaries in a foreign field la la la la (i am singing)
5th: let's spread the goodness on my blog!

Now to some zzzz politics. (Boss, satu kopi-o kaw!)

What the heck is SAPP doing? They are ruining my KL Stock Exchange share values. The market is so bearish, the only way now to get quicker investment returns are Euro 2008. No wonder the bookies are smiling, people are flocking to do business with them in times like these! Stealing my biz!! (Btw, SSL does not condone football betting, it is evil... I know that, because Holland lost.)

SAPP's YTL, the side-burn, misai and no-confidence vote

I actually agree with some of SAPP demands. But I don't know about this no-confidence vote motion. I am not so sure removing Pak Lah is the right cure here, because I am worried we might get another M-esque leadership as a replacement. That would be worse, no? We have seen so many positive (re: judicial independence, political transparency & accountability) changes since Pak Lah took over as PM. It does not matter whether those changes are attributed directly to him, or someone else because the take home conclusion is that those changes took place when Pak Lah is PM. So in other words, we are moving towards a fairer and equitable (not necessarily richer) Malaysia, albeit at crawling speed. But at least we are moving to somewhere.

I do seriously hope our politicians can sort things out fast. This political uncertainty is definitely spooking foreign investors from doing business with us. A longer and more protracted political guessing game is never good for anyone, so Anwar (Ku Li, Najib or whoever rocks your political boat) stop the talk and just get on with the walk.

brazilian ladies! a healthy diversionary pic from weary malaysian politics (you can catch some hot brazilian ladies in the new Incredible Hulk movie!!)

Now, back again to my blog template. I am learning to appreciate the importance of a good blog skin. Before, all I want to do is just getting my posts out there. But people are always attracted to aesthetic (check out Brazilian ladies pic, see what I mean), so again if you know a nice and clean template, please let me know so I can upload it to SSL. The keyword is free.

Have a nice week! And good luck Russia.

Revenge of the Thong

2008-06-19T09:20:00.003+08:00

Hypothetical scenario. You got yourself a pair of undies, with intricate embroideries and cutesy ornaments. You slipped them on, and for some reason (thigh fatness?), they got tangled on their way up, so you gave a little thug. You pulled it up. And they just would not go further than your flabby mid-upper legs. Damn those ~~thighs~~ undies. They literally got bottle-neck-jammed just above your knees (yes, your legs really do look like inverted champagne bottles). Thugging would tear them apart, so you hobbled your way to the upright mirror. You looked at yourself, not sure to laugh or cry at your ridiculous predicament. What the heck, you muttered, and gave the undies an exasperated last thug. It was indeed the last. They ripped, but not before one of the cutesy ornament sprung away from its attachment and caught your eye. Ouch! At this point, you were more blinded with fury than actual blindness... tears of mixed emotions (confused, angry, embarrassment rolled into one) started welling.

Now what do you do, assuming that you are a sane person? I mean after the swearing has stopped.

Well, something similar actually happened in real life. Maybe not as dramatic as my story, maybe more... I don't know. But one American lady actually took matters to court and sue the thong-manufacturers, Victoria Secrets.

Her attorney said the injury will affect the 'victim of _____ (insert ridiculous adjective here)' for the rest of her life. Now that is dramatic.

Read the full story here, I didn't believe it either at first.

I ****ed a girl and I liked it

2008-06-18T23:26:00.001+08:00

If I get paid $1 for making one right prediction each day, I will be living in up in a nice mansion, equipped with 10 maids, 2 drivers and 1000 girlfriends. Ok, a little exaggeration, just 999 girlfriends.

I knew they would be some form of stupid, unnecessary censorship on that Kate Perry's I kissed a girl and I liked it song! Hitz FM had played the raw, uncensored, fat full-cream original version just a couple of weeks ago, and now someone decided to be a smartie and introduced the ridiculous edited fit-for-retards version.

They edited out the kiss part in the song, and it sounded even more vulgar!! Who decided this??

Each time the chorus plays, the song went into some incomprehensible mumble like so...

I (mumblemumble) a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I (mumblemumble) a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I (mumblemumble) a girl and I liked it
I liked it

I asked a friend who unfortunately heard the edited version first before the real deal what that mumble mumbojumbo was supposed to say... and he said FUCK.

I fucked a girl and I liked it!!

This is what ridiculous censorship and unnecessary editing do to songs. Just leave it as it is, otherwise don't bother playing it!! Idiots.

When living is tough, prepare to make more spontaneous, bad decisions

2008-06-18T17:25:00.004+08:00

The average RM3000 income per household (one working dad, one full-time homemaker mom, 2 pesky kids) just isn't enough. It is all good if they reduce petrol subsidies and divert the "saved" money to other 'needed' development, but in the meantime, the population have to eat, sleep and crap. We need food and shelter to go on. It is no good telling us that the extra petrol money will go to some other future development, we need to live now.

We seriously need better economic solutions in place of the subsidy reduction. And I am not seeing any, even after I have put on my astigmatism-corrective glasses. Tadak. Bo. Nada.

Don't compare us to Europe or America who are paying market price for their oil. First, they don't produce as much oil per population like Malaysia, second their living standards and income are way ahead than us. Why am I feeling that the Malaysian living standard is regressing? Why are the majority of us just earn enough to get by, when the beloved politicians can afford big houses and a lux lifestyle abroad?

Where did we go so wrong?!

Best Natural Contraceptive

2008-06-18T11:41:00.002+08:00

"I remember looking at a photo of a naked man with friends and screaming, saying I didn't want to get married!"

says Vivien Oh, secretary of the Selangor and Federal Territory of KL Family Planning Group (check out NST, 18 June, Streets page 8)

...I cannot recall a more memorable quote than this one. This will stick in my head for days if not months to come. I wonder what else turns her off?

He he.

8 out of 10 bloggers will stop blogging in less than 6 months of starting a blog

2008-06-17T01:01:00.000+08:00

Bloggers are a fickle bunch. Most of you cannot sustain an interest beyond six months. Bloggers would need to have fresh ideas on such frequent basis that the majority just drop off and give up writing or realise what's the idiotic point of this, whichever comes first. Some of you hide behind the hiatus concept supposedly in the process of plotting the next move when actually you are telling readers you are tired and writhing in blogger's block pain. Here are some helpful advice to keep your blog going... like steroids for loss appetite, like morphine in your terminal hours:

(1) Lower your standards and plagiarise
Quality blog entry is in fact a product of your over-worked imagination. I say better to write rubbish than to keep searching for that perfect entry for weeks on end. Copy, copy, copy.

(2) Write an entry about blogging and the blogosphere
Like this.

(3) What did you wear to school/work today?
That is an entry already. Write a story behind your choice and then watch your readership plummets. So what, who gives a damn... as long as you keep writing and don't die a quick blogging death.

(4) Post Pictures. Of yourself. In various comical poses.
Easy as ABC.

(5) Reassure yourself that one day you will find your blogging form and start posting quality entry after another, but in the meantime you are quite happy to settle for crap writing, but at least you are still an active blogger.

Whatever you do - just write. Don't be a blog-dropout.

Times are tough

2008-06-16T17:20:00.001+08:00

Wah? Last I heard, God had never given us a chance to commission Him (or Her) to work for us. Maybe my idea of God is rather different to this housewife's...

Housewife: We depend on God to help our family

PETALING JAYA: With three school-going children, housewife Joyce Tay is “depending on God” to make ends meet as her household income of RM3,000 is no longer sufficient (read more...).

Times are indeed tough.

Eating in school canteen can save you a lot of money in these inflationary times

2008-06-14T15:03:00.002+08:00

My head is still spinning from too much football. Anyway, found an idea that you might like, or at least consider. I am sure you are not the only one feeling that everything has gone up in price. These were the far-reaching consequences I was referring to, this RM2.70 per litre affects almost all aspects of our money-spending lives.

Ok, here is this idea. You have 4 to 5 friends whom you promise to take out for lunch. This promise was made well before the petrol price hike announcement. There is really no escape but to "pay". But how do you soften the blow, so to speak?

TWO WORDS my friend: SCHOOL CANTEEN. They are still selling their char kueh teow at RM1.70. The last time I paid this much for my kueh teow was before America went to war with Iraq (the first one!), and that was a long time ago.

Go, eat at school canteens, they are still selling at pre-war prices.

(To salary-earning adults: fantastic idea if you don't mind the kiddie portion and those noisy sweaty kids... but just a short note, I am sure there is an ethical issue somewhere...hmm, somewhere)

Searching for that blog home-run...

2008-06-12T16:09:00.001+08:00

I haven't been blogging lately. A lot of the (recent) stuff you read here are regurgitated materials I randomly picked up from the net. This must be immensely boring... apologies. My brain is slowing down, must be the late night European football. How many of you here watch football? How do you freshen up for work/school the next day? Coffee and tea are only helping me so much. I have been reading a lot of political blogs and those too are starting to bore. The only reason I can stay awake at work is because I have been hitting home runs after home runs at the stock market front (home runs here means not losing money and making a little, because our stock market is an underachiever in the world of stock markets!). I don't do trades, I am the middle-person, or the bad guy. I handle other people's trades and dispense advice. Yawn... even writing these are getting tedious...

Give me a few days... I will try to come up with something slightly more readable and something vaguely more interesting.

Baby born with penis at the back

2008-06-11T10:56:00.002+08:00

OMG. A baby was born with an extra appendage. Stuck to the torso, at the BACK!

We should not be laughing at this kind of thing. The rare condition is called fetus in fetu. The doctor spent three hours removing it. And this is no april's fools...

I kissed a girl and I liked it

2008-06-10T22:23:00.000+08:00

This is one of my best minimal-blogging weeks. Truth be told, I am running low on blog ideas, the only saving grace is that those ideas do not cost RM2.70 per litre, but then again they are not as ubiquitous as those Petronas gas stations. But I'm happy, that is the bottom line. And I am doubly happy today because I heard this song - I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT - sang by a girl.

I heard it first on hitz.fm. I guessed the authority have not sussed out the lesbianic innuendos in this one. For non-Malaysians, gayism is frown upon here. Boo. So to hear this song played over our air-waves is liberalising and nice.

Maybe this is the sort of change Malaysians should also be asking for, apart from just political ones.

Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It’s not what, I’m used to
Just wanna try you on
I’m curious for you
Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

No, I don’t even know your name
It doesn’t matter
Your my experimental game
Just human nature
It’s not what, good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain’t no big deal, it’s innocent

Go green (in the face): hybrid cars in Malaysia

2008-06-09T10:13:00.001+08:00

Will the government provide tax incentives for those wishing to import hybrid cars?

Or at least get our local car producers boys to make one!!

I cannot get rid of this thought, I might as well share it with you. Imagine this... 10 years from now.

Proton Hybrid... moving nicely along Jalan Ampang and then ground to a sudden halt!

Pedestrian,"A(pa)sal?" (What happen?)

Driver,"Minyak ta-dak. Karan putus." (Out of petrol. Electric shortage.)

Pedestrian,"Kereta apa ni?" (What car is this?)

Driver,"Proton Petronas-Tenaga Hybrid."

hybrid car in Malaysia

Blogs that I read daily and why 70% of you are obsessed with your blog traffic

2008-06-05T23:59:00.011+08:00

I am first a blog-reader. Then a blogger. Since it is Thursday evening, and I have completed my evening work (job that pays me more than my 9-5 work! I like), I will share with you some of my personal blog favourites, stuff that I read on a daily basis. Some of them, I am going to admit, I even hit the refresh button a few hours apart just to see new comments or new entries. Because they are that great...

1. Salvatore Dali
He has a weekly column in the Star, which has a more regulated writing style than his punchy blog entries. His opinions and investment ideas are way more convincing, more superior and more readable than the bland stuff you get in the local business pages. He does not give you the obvious and he sees beyond the black and white. God bless him for making my day less boring - and in my book, he is the best Malaysian financial blogger. He updates daily (almost).

2. Marina Mahathir
She writes better than her dad. Now that I reside in KL, I can share and appreciate some of her grievances and pain of being a KLite (she is a Bangsarian). She is passionate, in sensible doses I should add, about feminist issues and anything to do with HIV awareness in Malaysia. A lot of her commentors wished her blog was more political, but she is smart enough to know that she needs to be consistent and you cannot do that by having political sides. She was not even in UMNO to begin with. Now that is NEUTRAL.

3. Kenny Sia
To get fashion tips. :P

4. Sisuahlai
To check my traffic, just like 70% of dumbass bloggers (sidenote: my non-stat checking sis uses a lot of dumbasses and any word that ends with asses). I am one of them but so far this week I have been a good boy - no traffic checking for the last 3 hours...

Why do we keep checking our stupid stats for??

I guess it is to do with this: Attention = Blog traffic. We like to know people are paying attention to us. Pathetic! And I am guilty of this.

have a good weekend
(and I need a rehab for stat-checking neurosis)

Creative ideas to fight increasing petrol price

2008-06-05T12:27:00.002+08:00

My kopitiam conversation this morning was like any other kopitiam conversations all over Malaysia on June 5. It was all about the petrol price. RM0.78 a litre overnight price hike is steep for the average income earners and the effects are far-reaching. People are not just thinking of alternative transport plans/finding more short-cut routes/car-pooling with the neighbour you once hate/hybrid car, they are already re-scheduling baby plans, cutting down on beers, and finding cheaper pastime (the poor man's hobby - blogging?).

I say we work harder to ~~fleece~~ find money from legitimate sources, and to stand on our own two feet. I do not think employers will be too generous come the year end. They are also feeling it, they have few families to feed and holidays pre-booked months ago.

Profits (unless you are Mr and Mrs Petronas) will be thinner, and who will suffer more? You the workers.

So what will you do? What creative ideas do you have?

my fav flatscreen "LCD"

Here are some money-saving tips to help you through tough times:

Turn off the television. Fight the (advertisement) influence.
Write a list before you go shopping - and stick to it.
Invite friends over instead of going out - let them be the ones who pay for petrol.
Instead of throwing out some damaged clothing, repair it instead. Sewing is fun. Not.
Drink more water. Beer, water, beer, water, beer, water. They all the same. Really.
Give up expensive habits, like cigarettes and alcohol. And driving.
Get books, music, and movies cheaply on the internet - P2P is king.
Hide your credit cards and count to 10. No, hide yourself instead, let the credit cards find you.
Do a price comparison - and find a cheaper store, Ebay price is always a good guide.
Join up with a volunteer program.
Use a simple razor to shave. It is 5% razor, 95% technique.
Buy staples in bulk.

RM1.92 a litre no more?

2008-06-03T15:46:00.001+08:00

The Malaysian government is about to announce a "new fuel subsidy scheme", and that bicycle idea is looking ever so attractive now...

I Love Bahasa Ad (Warning: Really Explicit Content)

2008-06-03T00:04:00.012+08:00

This advertorial content gets more imaginative and more explicit the further you read... but it is damn fun and very addictive read. I found this link on RPK. And this is easily the best bahasa online ad ever, ever.

I am glad I still know my bahasa, because this ad is hilarious. Or as they say in bahasa, lucu gile.

Let me give you my best effort translation (my comments in bracket):

www."majestichusband".com
Do you feel defeated before the (intercourse) battle?
If the answer is yes, from today on, it will be your wife's turn to taste defeat whilst feeling satisfied doing battle with you! (sorry for the lousy inggeris, I am translating word for word here)

THIS PRODUCT IS INTENDED FOR MARRIED COUPLES ONLY. (a very malaysian disclaimer)

Do you frequently do sex but spurt a little too early?

Do not worry, after (using) this, you will be able to battle up to 8 hours long with Dear Mrs.

That's provided you still have the energy after the exhausting dive to the base looking for the real pleasure hole/depth.

(achtung)!

This is solely intended for couples who are already married. The Management will not assume responsibility for any product misuse such as in free sex and the likes!

Surely you have trouble with intimate relationship, otherwise why would you spend your time with me (reading this) in search for the best solution.

Yes, there is definitely a best solution for you to maintain domestic harmony. Physical intimacy is like paradise on earth with no equivalents.

This is a gift from God to us, of the highest value. Why do I say so? You know the answer (wink, wink)

According to male sexual potential research statistics, 7 out of 10 males have problem with rapid climax.

What do I mean with rapid climax, or in its scientific term "Premature Ejaculation"?

It means you will experience sperm spurts before the right time, and this is caused by:

overly anxious mind with no control
sensitive and excessive ticklishness on the cock
health problems

A lot of males are not aware of this deficiency. Intercourse that takes 5-15 minutes is satisfactory for them and they are contented after spurting inside the wife's vagina.

Do you know 78% of women do not climax during intercourse with their partners (who else!)?

Is your wife part of these statistics?

YES (the author answers for us???), if you only manage to sail within 5-15 minutes only and then sink in the ocean of love-making, it is not impossible if your wife did not reach the appropriate climax.

(Enough, I cannot take it anymore!)

.... the advert gets more explicit! I should stop... read here if you want to find out more about this oil.

:) Long live bahasa copywriters. I like.

Key to Happiness: Strong Family Ties and Absence of Materialism

2008-06-02T00:54:00.004+08:00

Island life can be scary or happy. The scary ones are full of tourist trappings, idle beach boys and special massages. Take this as an example, today's news, a group fight broke out simply because a boy "bumped" a girl in a club in Pulau Redang. The Malaysian (theStar I mean) definition of bumping is dancing too closely until the hips meet, uninvitingly of course. Not the other more intimate meaning of bumping.

A simple bump is enough to set-off a cowboy bar scene melee - what kind of idyllic island mentality is this? I think life must be pretty tough for both holiday goers and island residents, it must be for anyone to take a bumping incident so seriously and to such violent conclusion.

"10 policemen were rushed to the island on a speedboat to handle the situation." - even the police didn't expect this: a free outing to the holiday island!!

Now contrast this with the island people of Vanuatu. Their island country has been voted the happiest place in the world. Their recipe for happiness: strong family ties and absence of ~~gangsta rap and bumping action~~ materialism. This is not exactly a capitalist's idea of happiness, and furthermore I do not think the Malaysian and Singaporean governments would be too happy if their kids start adopting such simpleton thinking.

We have been told that our idea of happiness/success (interchangeable) should be about fighting for our people and becoming world beaters in economic terms.

Sien already.

I say it is about using coconut oil as fuel and catching fruit bats for dinner... life is happier and more peaceful that way! And when the kids demand for a 50-inch LCD, I say construct a bamboo frame, take it to the beach, stick it into the sand and get the kids to look right through it.

Lastly, stay together. Marriage means life. Just like murder without parole in UK.

Lap Sap Nadnut

2008-05-31T21:43:00.003+08:00

I found your bro, Nad.

(image from Geek Goddess)

Other famous blogger lookie likeys.

Forget about dawn or other local FHM cover girls... turn your attention to...

2008-05-31T12:12:00.002+08:00

Miss Foxy. Whoa! I am now looking for the latest copy of UK's FHM (the only issue worth reading). Apparently, she said, quoting from FHM,"I have the libido of a teenage boy. I’d rather have sex all the time than leave the house.”

Don't you just love life!! I don't think many men would argue with her over that.

Is there a megan fox fan club in KL? :P

“There is a road, so why close it?”

2008-05-30T09:16:00.000+08:00

This question was asked by Selangor MB in reference to the Bandar Mahkota Cheras toll saga!

One could easily ask the same question about other aspects of our Malaysian lives.... please don't close our roads.

I am going to give Advertlet a chance

2008-05-29T11:59:00.001+08:00

This is going against my conditioning and recent thought processes. My email communication with the advertlet guys appear to get better responses than the others. My current ad agency signed up knows my stats and how small a fish I am in this ocean called the blogosphere, in comparison with the local blog giants like ks, and xx (to give you some idea, their one hour accumulative uniques are more than my total weekly ones!), hence I suspect this is one of the reasons my requests/queries get filed under priority with the heading "do this when we have 25 hours a day". Although their blogger relations executive reassured me that their top management are considering my request, I think he really meant the guy that sits across the desk is still deliberating on the right action. Bless.

But like most nuffnang ad slaves/servers (choose whichever describes you the best), keeping the glitterati status appears to mean something, although we will not know how this would affect our life-changing ad earnings in exact mathematical terms. So I think I will be spawning another blog for advertlets in order to keep that status.

My challenge is this... to build up an equivalent number of traffic and similar demographics on both blogs and compare my earnings - then we would know who has the real deal! Amacam? Sui bor?

That won't be that challenging as long as SSL traffic don't explode in the next few weeks. :P

Let's see if I have the energy for this experiment...

P/s: I must admit traffic building is one the hardest things to do when you only have 2 hours a day to blog, 3 hours tops. That is not my excuse. The real reason why most of us (me included) are getting shite traffic numbers is our content. I practice a lot of echolalia in my writing, I suspect most bloggers do, regurgitating stuff and information a lot of people already know. We hardly ever offer any fresh ideas and new revelations without bordering on being seditious or ridiculous.

Another point, some of us are not gifted with faces of a Goddess. Cam whore generally don't work for ordinary looks (or sub-ordinary looks) as far as traffic building is concerned. So that limit us to doing "funny faces/acts" and a lot of hours on Photoshop. But I don't have that ability/thick-skinned-ness either.

So it will be down to content. Damn good one.

Tips to Win Friends on The Net and The Blogosphere

2008-05-29T00:56:00.004+08:00

This Dale Carnegie advice is so timeless. Let us examine how this 20th century brown-nose approach can be applied to our internet lives today. I have tried some of his principles at work, and I have this to say... these next 9 tips are so effective that you must not use it on vulnerable people, they will stick to you like flies... and for internet chatters, these people will keep buzzing you for a chat. You have been warned.

Tips to Win Friends on The Net and The Blogosphere

(1) Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
Swallow everything people say. If fools can do it, why can't we?

(2) Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Even if you cannot understand what you are really appreciating. Just keep on posting comments on every single post your fav blogger writes even if it is so out of touch with reality.

(3) Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Show him your ~~thigh~~ intense curiosity for the subject that he is writing about.

(4) Become genuinely interested in other people.
Even camwhores can be loved. If you try really, really hard.

(5) Smile.
The low-cost way to ~~feign~~ show interest on webcam.

(6) Remember that a man's (and girl of course) name is to him (or her) the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
Your name is the primordial sound of love unless your parents name you horatio or any name that sounds like a Latin belojeb.

(7) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
It is always easy to be a good listener on the Net. Just look into the monitor while the other person chats away... isn't Jemma Jameson the most beautiful thing... (keep looking into the monitor, you are "listening" remember?)

(8) Talk in the terms of the other man's interest.
Talk about his blog, how you fell in love with his template, how his font size is so perfect for him...

(9) Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
Repeat point (8) and then add the word sincerely to the end of your sentence- this works all the time.

You can now call yourself THE ULTIMATE INTERNET FRIEND.

15 81G P3N15 83TT3R 0R N0T? (Yes, now leave us alone.)

2008-05-28T01:25:00.001+08:00

SSL is officially at war with male organ enhancement (moe) spams. My mail box is clogged with instructions, suggestions and advertisements on moe. Such indiscriminate spamming is offensive and unMalaysian/unSingaporean/un(please insert your nationality).

If a man needs to have the organ upgrade, he will seek help, he does not need constant reminder. Getting up in the morning to pee is the that reminder. So please don't compound the man's paranoia.

No moe spam please.

Nuffnang, Advertlets etc VERSUS No Ad Agency Bloggers

2008-05-27T14:14:00.005+08:00

I have a lot of respect for bloggers who write well, with decent traffic, but do not feel compelled to sign up with an online ad agency! I am going to pimp some of these ad-less blog stars.... BIG UP!

Let me start... I found one

http://lifeforbeginners.com/

Who is your favourite ad-less blogstar? (post their links in the comment box please, I will then add them to the main)

http://www.cbmused.com/
http://www.knittedtales.blogspot.com/

Tennis star to appear on Playboy August Issue

2008-05-26T19:56:00.004+08:00

My first (instinctive) reaction was yes, finally... Sharapova, Sharapov...

what?

who?

Harkle-what?

Oh, Ashley Harkleroad, a woman tennis player ranked XXth in the world is going to appear on the glamorous pages of Playboy.

Anti-climax sial.

Photo opportunity

2008-05-26T09:07:00.000+08:00

Check out today's Star (front page). A certain business group have donated money to the Sichuan earthquake victims. Did anyone stop and ask: what business are they doing exactly?

How do get a sponsored trip to Thailand as a blogger?

2008-05-25T16:25:00.000+08:00

Who says it doesn't pay to blog?

Nicole Tan and co. will jetting off on a sponsored blogging trip to Southern Thailand in July! Only bloggers with at least 1000 unique hits a day will get the special invite. Shame to say that my just under 1000 hits (per year!) on SSL does not fulfill the minimum requirement... :P oh well, got to save up.

I was hoping to do a special interview with Nic over oysters this week before her nth holiday, but her busy schedule would not allow. This girl goes on a adventure trip as often as some change their underwear. If green is the colour of envy, then my face is now fluoresced with mould!!

No la, I wish her and the rest luck... just remember to get me a nice souvenir when you come back. Wokay?

Singapore and Malaysia are disputing over this piece of "rock" - Pulau Batu Puteh

2008-05-23T16:09:00.026+08:00

...and the winner is...

(result out in a few minutes...)

4.18pm: no final result yet... Malaysia seems to be leading
4:19pm: Orang Laut inhabited Pulau Batu Puteh and Sultan of Johor had authority over them (what about the "rock"?)
4:25pm: no winner yet... the judge is reading from a thick book
4:27pm: The judge now talks about the UK-Dutch border treaty
4:37pm: Singapore claims operation of lighthouse
4:45pm: No result yet - could go either way
4:49pm: everyone in the court looks serious(ly bored?)
5:02pm: the judge is halfway through that judgment book, he reads in a steady pace
5:12pm: the judge ain't reading any faster; but I think I know which side the verdict is going...

5:16pm: "Your Honour, can I just have a quick peek at the end of the book?"
5:20pm: The Malaysian lawyers fixed their glance on something/someone/anything... I wonder what run through their minds now?

5.22pm: It's mind over matter now trying to keep awake
5:26pm: We are close to the peaceful conclusion now...
5:32pm: Let me give you some perspective, the "island" is not even the size of a football pitch
5:41pm: (insert your choice expletives) the rain disrupts the Astro live broadcast!
5:48pm: someone please tell us the verdict.. hang on the transmission returns
5:55pm: Majority vote Singapore as rightful owner
5:56pm: But Pulau Middle Rocks belongs to Malaysia; so both sides win (right?)

How to voice concerns on your blog without getting arrested

2008-05-23T11:41:00.000+08:00

Read this portion from the Star. My comments at the end.

KUANTAN: Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Adnan Yaakob briefly became a newscaster during the state assembly sitting here yesterday, reading an article about stringent measures taken by the Singapore Government on a group of political activists who screened a film about Senior Minister Lee Kuan Yew without obtaining approval from the media regulator. The article was carried by a local English daily yesterday and with the paper cutting in his hands, Adnan took several minutes reading it. It was to drive home the message that by being too lenient and open to media practitioners including bloggers, there could be an influx of articles so much so that readers were inclined to believe falsehoods. Adnan said that it was good if Malaysia could be strict like Singapore. Read more...

My comments:

Falsehoods are bad. But not reporting falsehoods are worse.

I do not like it when bloggers get lumped and labelled in a general way as if we are baddies ganging up against the government (although I agree that they are few lousy writers/bloggers out there who are more interested in publicity than truths). But blogging gives us back our democratic voice - which can only be good (if all our writing is backed up by evidence). But sometimes we do not have hard and solid evidence, but we still sense some form of injustice or that something is amiss. What do we do then?

A Singaporean blogger was recently arrested for his blog entry. He wrote how a certain person he saw in a public place doing something so idle and meaningless, and then he started to link race and this person's sorry state. He went on how he could take anyone belonging to this particular race on a debating challenge and that he would win hands down because his education provided the necessary verbal leverage. Incredible stuff.

Of course readers started to complain. This blogger should really be charged under Bloggers Emotional Check Act (2008) or Blogging Stupidly Act (2008) rather than a more serious racism/seditious-type offence. He removed his posts and offered his apology and explanation citing ignorance and emotional lability for the entry - he should really cite stupidity.

Ok, I digress now. Back to my original question: if we sense some form of injustice when we do not have the necessary evidence apart from our intuition saying so, how do we report/blog about it?

Collectively, the blogosphere is really the emotional product of bloggers. We can either contain our emotion and not blog on the issue if we do not have solid evidence for or if we feel like saying something, this is my advice:

(1) Flag up the issue in a thought-provoking way. Use a language and expression that challenges the notion that everything is fine, without committing as fact.

(2) Use available statistics to show disparity and concerns, but do not generalise. It is not racist to say Race A represent 70% of the prison population if this was the case, but don't say Race A have criminal tendency/traits. There could also be other explanations: the law could be biased or unfairly meted out to Race A or it could just be a sample bias - a prison in China is likely to hold 99.9% Chinese prisoners!

(3) Flip the coin - give alternative views on the matter. E.g. If Government A rewards people based on merit rather than their genetic make-up, this would create healthier competition and a more hardworking society. Handing out goodies on a plate because you are so-and-so will encourage laziness and surely, in the long run, this will not benefit those who receive help.

Happy blogging... and don't get into unnecessary trouble.

Do you know why you are paying ridiculous price for your rice, wheat and other essential stuff?

2008-05-22T11:06:00.003+08:00

A hedge fund manager speaking before the American Senate yesterday confirmed our biggest nightmare. The recent food price escalation has nothing to do with commodity supply/demand mismatch! We were told that commodity index speculators stockpiled enough commodity futures to put us, ordinary citizens, through months and years of living with obscenely inflated food prices if the right remedy is not being put into action soon! I hope our government is reading this and doing something about it...

(Portion of) the report: Think about it this way: If Wall Street concocted a scheme whereby investors bought large amounts of pharmaceutical drugs and medical devices in order to profit from the resulting increase in prices, making these essential items unaffordable to sick and dying people, society would be justly outraged.

Why is there not outrage over the fact that Americans (read World citizens) must pay drastically more to feed their families, fuel their cars, and heat their homes? Index Speculators provide no benefit to the futures markets and they inflict a tremendous cost upon society. Individually, these participants are not acting with malicious intent; collectively, however, their impact reaches into the wallets of every American consumer (and us).

Is it necessary for the U.S. (read World) economy to suffer through yet another financial crisis created by new investment techniques, the consequences of which have once again been unforeseen by their Wall Street proponents?

(To relevant authorities, mail me if you want the full report)

...and to think that that our authorities are thinking of opening up our palm oil future trades to the Americans via the Chicago Mercantile Exchange...

Fulfilling Dreamz

2008-05-22T11:05:00.000+08:00

We just luv competition.

Here goes.

Answers:

(1) Who is the professional image consultant dishing out juicy tips on how to look your best at CloveTWO.com's Lookin' Good section?
Wendy Lee

(2) Name the bloggers at the Guy and Parent blogs.
Guy: Andrew William
Parent: Sharmila Rajah

(3) At which section do you find stories on women's fashion and beauty?
Style Sheet

Attending Dreamz would be a dream come true for me because (hey!) it is everyone's dream to get free passes to enter a magical land... :)