I Love Bahasa Ad (Warning: Really Explicit Content)

This advertorial content gets more imaginative and more explicit the further you read... but it is damn fun and very addictive read. I found this link on RPK. And this is easily the best bahasa online ad ever, ever.

I am glad I still know my bahasa, because this ad is hilarious. Or as they say in bahasa, lucu gile.

Let me give you my best effort translation (my comments in bracket):

www."majestichusband".com
Do you feel defeated before the (intercourse) battle?
If the answer is yes, from today on, it will be your wife's turn to taste defeat whilst feeling satisfied doing battle with you! (sorry for the lousy inggeris, I am translating word for word here)

THIS PRODUCT IS INTENDED FOR MARRIED COUPLES ONLY. (a very malaysian disclaimer)

Do you frequently do sex but spurt a little too early?

Do not worry, after (using) this, you will be able to battle up to 8 hours long with Dear Mrs.

That's provided you still have the energy after the exhausting dive to the base looking for the real pleasure hole/depth.

(achtung)!

This is solely intended for couples who are already married. The Management will not assume responsibility for any product misuse such as in free sex and the likes!

Surely you have trouble with intimate relationship, otherwise why would you spend your time with me (reading this) in search for the best solution.

Yes, there is definitely a best solution for you to maintain domestic harmony. Physical intimacy is like paradise on earth with no equivalents.

This is a gift from God to us, of the highest value. Why do I say so? You know the answer (wink, wink)

According to male sexual potential research statistics, 7 out of 10 males have problem with rapid climax.

What do I mean with rapid climax, or in its scientific term "Premature Ejaculation"?

It means you will experience sperm spurts before the right time, and this is caused by:

• overly anxious mind with no control
• sensitive and excessive ticklishness on the cock
• health problems

A lot of males are not aware of this deficiency. Intercourse that takes 5-15 minutes is satisfactory for them and they are contented after spurting inside the wife's vagina.

Do you know 78% of women do not climax during intercourse with their partners (who else!)?


Is your wife part of these statistics?

YES (the author answers for us???), if you only manage to sail within 5-15 minutes only and then sink in the ocean of love-making, it is not impossible if your wife did not reach the appropriate climax.

(Enough, I cannot take it anymore!)

.... the advert gets more explicit! I should stop... read here if you want to find out more about this oil.

:) Long live bahasa copywriters. I like.