Future career for bright and smart Malaysians, yes, I am talking to you

Career advice from me, free of charge. This is what you should be aiming for...

Nuclear Energy/Uranium sourcing industry

Our oil and gas will not be able to support our country's energy demand for long. Malaysia is currently running feasibility studies on building a nuclear power plant as a future source of electricity energy. This nuclear dream will not materialise overnight, but by 2015 onwards, expect to see a surge in demand for nuclear physicists, engineers and safety officers (aka Homer Simpson) in Malaysia. And not many people will mess with you if you tell them that you control the national nuclear power plant - hence the added sexiness of power. I seriously believe this is a super-lucrative industry, and many retrenched Petronas workers (when oil and gas running out and not so hot already, so let these young geezers boast and brag about their Petronas position, because that won't last too long) will migrate to this one. To build a nuclear plant is obviously not cheap, RM10 billion for a medium size 1000 MW plant. Assuming the current administration in still power, expect some brotherly money leakages to subsidiary companies. So seniors workers may profit from many internal deals (corrupt mind required). But if Anwar succeeds to take over power and run this country, assuming he keeps his promises to run the country clean and fair, workers in this industry will still stand to benefit - through the rational process of increased competition and better wage structure. So win-win for nuclear workers whoever governs the country.

Frankly, it is better to have a non-corrupt government once we have a nuclear plant. I feel a lot safer that way. I don' want any mediocre tom, dick and harry to run it.

Islamic Finance

Non-Muslims are qualified to run this industry. You can be a Syariah-cum-Finance expert without becoming a Muslim. So this is an open industry. Middle Eastern/Gulf money (trillions and trillions) tend to seek out Syariah-compliant funds. So you could just be a simpleton analyst (or the much-loathed middlemen of any financial kind) working for a Middle Eastern intermediary in Malaysia, and you will be fed enough wealth to excrete petroleum through your other end. Take it from me, in this short life of yours, much of your career happiness depends on chance meeting and pure luck, and NOT brains per se. So position yourself in the great company of Gulf men. Look pass their costume and hirsute appearance.

Currently, experts are still ironing out important differences and disagreement within the global Islamic banking industry. What is Syariah-compliant in Malaysia today may not be Syariah-compliant in Kuwait. But don't be disheartened kids. By the time you reach Form 5, the industry will mature enough to reach some uniformity that you won't feel like you are leaving the chaotic life of school just to enter an even more chaotic existence in finance. Let me rephrase that. When you grow up, just join the Islamic banks.

Prime Minister of Malaysia

To school leavers and SPM-floppers, don't despair. Anyone who can form a coherent argument can do this job, so your mamak-stall conversational skills may not be sia-sia (wasted) afterall. The real requirement to run for PM office lies in your attitude, not intellect alone. I know many intelligent people who would make horrible PMs. Example, Dr House. I am being serious, Malaysia is lacking good future PM contenders. Our current stock of MPs just do not cut it for me. I want someone as gutsy as Tun M, as gabby as Anwar, and as gungho as Tunku to be my leader come 2020. If you are the one, please apply now.