What hiatus? Someone just became an instabillionaire.

Blogging is now an old-fashioned word for bitching. But there are several categories of bitching. Meaningful bitching, aimless bitching and bitching bitching. The evil of them all is bitching bitching. It serves no greater human purpose except for pure venting.

And there is no greater way to re-start a blog after a long flatus (hiatus, flatus, hiatus... get it?) other than to bitch about Facebook buying over Instagram for a cool $1 billiongram.

Instagram to the uninitiated, is an iPhone (now Android-user-able) app that allows users to take pictures in pre-set filter effects. The result is a collection of not-at-all-amateurish pictures which can be shared with a worldwide audience. The word Instagram users like to use (and they use it a lot!) to describe their Instagram-pictures is hip/hipster/hipsterrific.

Here, my Instagram hip-example. You can actually make a toilet roll interesting.... with a lazy Instagram pre-set filter:



Now the bitch-talk begins. The effect of buying over an app like Instagram for a nice $1 bil facebook cheque is simply a way of Facebook telling other app-makers: if you want my future, forget my past, if you wanna get me with me, better make it fast; now don't go on wasting my precious online time, get your act together and make your app really really facebook-friendly.

Commentors have been scratching heads as to why FB needed to pay so much for a company that does not generate revenue, and has only a fraction of FB total users (30 million Instagram users versus FB 850 million). So what does FB add by buying Instagram? To rival Google's Pinterest?

This. By paying 1bil for a company of 18 peeps, FB is sending out this nudge $ignal to app-designers: now please choose your preferred social network. FB shall not rest until it has full control of your digital life. Give in to me....

Thanks to you and me, we have made Facebook this powerful beast. With its colossal funds it will write the rule books on how apps should run and how apps should network.

FB becoming king isn't a bad thing, so long as there are other alternative kingdoms we can move to. With billions to spend, I don't think other kingdoms can really match up - we have only villages as alternative. When the ubiquity gets annoyingly intrusive, we shall live in those. But for now, I shall tolerate blue frames, tagging and LIKE buttons. Just don't do that to Instagram interface.


Before you accuse me of forgetting tradition, I haven't:-

KAO BO (n) a female canine animal

Cho Kang

CHO v. make (as in honcho)
KANG n. work (k-, ang as in uncle)

Mondays are to cho kang (working) adults what teething are to toddlers, they are painful but necessary.

Some of us hold important position, and frequently find ourselves in the firing line...

Some of us have to push and motivate people to get things done...

Many of us toil away oblivious to the risks involved...

I just hope all of us survive 2009. Watch your eggs. And put them in different basket please.

We are dancer, thank you

I will write when I really have ideas, right now, let's just kick back and relax. Besides it is the holiday season.

(I am going to regret posting this Youtube clip; it is enjoyable in a sadomasochistic way, yes, like torture without physical pain)

Tauhu chui "Hot N Cold"

As they say in Kuching Hokkien, pua sio leng (half cold half hot)! You can have your soya milk served this way. This is the only place I know you can use ambiguous terms and yet people seem to understand you.

More?

Pua si pua wa' (half dead half alive)
Pua khongkham (half insane, yes, this is madness in the pre-digital, analogue age)

Now enjoy this video (Youtube Live 22 November 2008)...

Royal Mulu Mascot

Oh, how I like a good humour. Batty boy bat is indeed the loveliest creature ever to have emerged from the darkest crevices and cracks of Mulu caves. This must be someone's idea of a prank. And I like it.

Raja Petra writes and we listen

It is good to have him back. Back to what he does best: write, and write well.

My compulsory daily blog visit has always been Malaysia Today. To have the star columnist back is like having protein once again after months of bland carbohydrate online diet.

He served up another yummilicious article ("I am Malay, and proud of it") since his release from the ISA detention centre in Kamunting. And he has put forward a valid challenge in the final paragraph: To have the economic crutches removed and to really empower the major ethnic group of Malaysia. (The story before that final few paragraphs are slightly more entertaining yet true, so please read the link!)

I hope the new generation of policy-makers (Khairy, Nurul Izzah etc) will be able to make real and substantial changes, at the same time inspire and empower every Malaysian without the need for ethnic rhetoric ala Obama-style*.

I think the best way to start for these young politicians is to learn valuable lessons from Raja Petra's stories.

Welcome back Pete!

*I personally feel that we are not able to leave racial politics yet because we have not reached the necessary patriotism to do so. Obama united the majority of Americans (which has always been fragmented) with the promise of a better future and troubled times like these need a togetherness not seen before. He didn't even mutter a single word relating to ethnicity in his victory speech. This is indeed a substantial CHANGE. A change for the better.

Obama: inspirational leader, charisma 100%; Our PM-elect charisma 0%

When I say PM-elect, I really mean leader by divisional votes.

Congratulations to USA for showing the world that there is always hope for change (for the better) and for making us believe that real democracy does not know any racial barrier.

I am longing for a charismatic statesman to unstuck our country from denial and ancient practices.

Yes, we can.

Enjoy

This one is brilliant in its original form. So I am going to copy and paste it and just let it be, so you can read it and enjoy it as much as I did.

From the Star: Funny words

LONDON LOG
By CHOI TUCK WO

Graffiti is providing a dose of humour amidst the current economic gloom.

Amid the gloom and doom of the global financial crisis, all it took was a mere piece of graffiti to lift the spirits. That’s not to say there’s nothing to cheer about these days; reports of petrol price dipping below £1 (RM6.50) per litre and food bills tumbling have brought relief all round.

But with the flurry of depressing news hogging the media spotlight, it has to be a graffiti wall sprayed with graffiti - yes of all things! - that provided a little respite.

From Charles Dickens to Les Dawson, the British are said to be never funnier than when they are miserable. And from that philosophy of finding hilarity in hardship has come some of the best humour in local history.

When news broke out about a £3,000 (RM19,500) graffiti wall being put up in a Cornish town for youths to express themselves through graffiti, many were bemused with what was happening. Others felt it was a blatant waste of public funds, especially during times of economic hardship.

The general perception is the money could have been better spent on more worthy projects. Upgrading the local library, sports field or even the community hall were among those suggested.

And when someone jumped the gun and sprayed a protest message - “I paid my tax and all I got was this lousy wall” - ahead of the wall’s opening end of this month, Pandora’s box was opened.

Obviously, the police in Wadebridge, a bustling market town north of Cornwall, were not amused with the prankster “scooping” them with his mark on the wall.

The writing’s on the wall, wrote the local Cornish Guardian, as it reported being deluged with calls from local residents about the uninvited message.

Well, the wall’s not even opened yet, the police argued. And they now have to “crime it, investigate it and paint over it,” incurring yet more taxpayer’s money.

Then again, what probably irked the authorities was not so much that they were beaten to it but by what was written on the wall.

After all, the wall was built specifically for graffiti in the first place. It was to have been intended for youths to put their marks on other than on other people’s property.

With all the fuss over the graffiti, the prankster is probably laughing at the attention his message has generated. And that’s exactly what he wanted - he has had the local media falling for it, as attention switched from catching the culprit to spending money on worthy projects.

The bigger issue, however, is why people have resorted to communicating through graffiti in the first place?

Some regard it as a way of putting across social and political messages. Others view it as an artform.

Whatever their intention, defacing property with graffiti without the owner’s consent is simply vandalism; there are no two ways about it.

Perhaps, those concerned should consider channelling their energy on their back garden walls or those of their parent’s. That way, they only have themselves to blame for any repercussions.

The Notorious Mr White Rabbit

In the Western world, if you asked for the white rabbit, people would probably direct you to the nearest sex shop. In Malaysia (or anywhere in the Far East), people will know that you are referring to that popular candy with the delicious (edible!) plasticky, transparent outer wrapping.

So I was naturally shocked, angry and disappointed to read about our fav candy, the White Rabbit, actually contained real plastic material - melamine!

(please pronounce melamine melameeeen, and not melamind).

But, what's more shocking is this article in the Star about melamine in White Rabbit. The White Rabbit (Creamy Candy) contains more than 50 times the permissible level. Yes, the Health Ministry actually allows small traces of melamine in food!!!

I am now officially worried with our food standards.

Can someone please enlighten me as to why small amount of melamine is allowed in food? Atmospheric background melamine???

The big boys always win!

In normal life, we don't get goodies when we make mistake. But life is never normal. This is what we are witnessing when the US government provided a super-giant rescue plan to failing banks. Those banks rake in abnormal profits in good times, and hand them out to their workers and CEOs. But during the not-so good times, they still hand out handsome gains to their workers and CEOs!

Hang on, this story gets worse (or better if you are one of those workers and CEOs). Even when those banks are heading for the abyss, because they make the wrong bet with their invesment and deposits, the workers and CEOs can still walk away with pocketful of dosh! And to add more insult, the government will use people's money to save their polished rear-ends so they won't go belly up. Just like a trusted uncle. In the case of USA, it's Uncle Sam saving those screw-ups again and again and again.

So what do we learn from this sorry episode?

You have a license to be reckless when you are one of the big financial boys.

Most dispicable.

New message from board of tourism? YB Datuk Seri Najib new video-blog.

Check out this new "instructional"-like video: www.1malaysia.com.my. Reminded me of my Kemahiran Hidup cikgu: "selamat pagi semua, hari ini kita akan belajar memasang lampu swis, tarik wayar jiran dan saya akan tunjukkan macam mana boleh jimat bil api."

I got something complimentary to say about him, I like his smile. He tried so hard.

Happy Malaysia Day, when you're ready

Today, I shall blog in the bullet point style of chedet.com. Btw, Tun M, Happy Malaysia Day to you.

(1) When a non-Malaysian friend asked how we ended up having 2 Independence Days, 31 August and 16 September, I had to go back to my Form 5 Secondary School textbook to explain.

(2) Of course, I did add, that just like Microsoft Windows, there are several versions. Historical facts is one thing and interpretation of historical facts is another.

(3) 31 August is Hari Merdeka and 16 September is Malaysia Day. To cut a long story short, parts of Malaysia achieved independence from British rule at different times, on those 2 dates.

(4) However I stressed, the story of this geographical region now known as Malaysia is just a series of colonisation: Siamese, Dutch, Portugese, British, just to name some recent ones.

(5) 31 August is a public holiday in Malaysia, and 16 September isn't, unless you took MC on that day.

(6) So what is the official position on Independence Day? Which day was it?

(7) Malaysians should ideally celebrate their independence every single day.

(8) But not everyone is equally patriotic (if patriotism is measured by those cheerful visibility on Merdeka Day), some parade along Dataran Merdeka on 31 August, some watch the glittery show on TV, some still unconscious in bed. So you see, not everyone is celebrating, and even if they do, they do not do it in the same exuberant degree.

(9) Some feel that they rather defer any form of celebration until their are truly free from colonisation, in mind and spirit.

(10) That is why, my non-Malaysian friend, your question about our independence day is really difficult to answer and I apologise as I'm not able to provide a satisfying answer.