Saturday, June 30, 2007

Don't name the virus after us...

PUA-PEI adj. ill

Not feeling all that well this weekend. But this article from The Star really manage to brighten my day...

The Malaccan Chief Minister wasn't too happy that the newly-discovered bat virus was to be named after the State. I didn't think it was too bad to call it Melaka Virus. But somehow the Malaccan CM thinks it would be an insult to name it Melaka... his reasoning was that Melaka is a "good state, beautiful and peaceful, not the birthplace of diseases".

Birthplace of diseases? He he. That's funny.

But this is funnier. He claimed that the name was an insult to the state, but he went on to suggest that the Health Ministry should name it after the doctor or scientist who discovered it.

Because that would be okay, as it would be an insult to a single person and NOT the whole state. Isn't that correct Mr. Chief Minister?

I really adore the reasoning skills of our politicians. Malaysian politicians, bless...

P/s: I didn't see the Japanese or the Germans complaining about Japanese Encephalitis virus or the German Measles virus... and we are talking about the whole nation here!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Why is this news?

disclaimer: this is an article on our media, not a criticism on our beloved government or any living person.
BEI SIAN SIN v.,n. unbelievable! (or literally, do not believe)

I love pro-government dailies. The pettiest, slightest suggestion of support gets some kind of a write-up. I don't mind, because I think I am beginning to get used to this brown-nosing culture. Afterall, isn't it it the government people who license and therefore regulate the media? No?
I don't mind. Because like most Malaysians, we were told to accept. Besides, I don't think it's worth getting an ulcer over it.

But what gets me, is telling us the obvious.
I think we have a great PM. Generally, Malaysians are happy for him, now that he is a married man again. But why... do we need an article telling us that his wife is now an official supporter/member of his political party?**
I wonder if the Oppositions' wives get the same attention and treatment from the media? Or do they just choose not to be political instrument?

**wasn't she one before?

Friday, June 15, 2007

Creative spying (but sisuahlai reporting)

i spy with my little...

v. done for, kena

I'm sure you have read about "the spycam in female bathrooms" story in the Star. It was sensational news. It has all the right ingredients to boost that readership figures if you are a media person. It has scandal, sex, controversy, and dirty-minded boys. Wow... better than Shrek 3!

Everyone is rushing to come up with editorials and follow-ups on that subject. Public interest is still strong, can't waste this opportunity to sell newspapers, must milk it fast. You can almost hear them chant.

One local newspaper even ran an article telling us what kind of circuitry and cam set-ups are or aren't suitable for spying. Yes, very educational, thank you. One talk about the morals behind such intention. What morals? Every possible angle is explored, you bet, to the fullest.

But this one particular local tabloid went that extra mile. It has a picture of a woman taking shower on its front page with the spycam scandal headline!

Now why would any tabloid newspaper editor approve of this sort of journalistic jazzing up?

If the picture was taken from a diferrent source, it will be done for inaccurate and misleading reporting. And if the picture was taken from the actual source, from the spycams that led to all these rumpus, the newspaper will be done for something even more serious. Truly kena both ends. Bodoseng!

If this is the standard of Malaysian journalistic writing and editorial scrutiny, then people must be queuing up to apply for jobs there, must be fun... a lot of freedom, and furthermore, get paid to be sisuahlai!

Apply here.

At least this creative genius makes me laugh, more.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Hau lian?

Psst! Wanna know a secret? SAFARI 3 is out. This is definitely another milestone in your web-browsing experience! Sisuahlai (and any blogspot sites) is best viewed with SAFARI 3 (version Public Beta) for Windows and Mac. ~ another free plug for Steve Job. 

(SSL not so) HAU LIAN adj. smug

This is the seraphic, after the rainstorm view from Sisuahlai's new KL home, captured on a N73 phone. 


Wait till you read the the aftermath of the KL rainstorm in the morning papers.

Sunday, June 10, 2007


Ammended version

v.,n. thank you
KALIAO LANG n. everyone

The most important longevity tip for any blogger, is... gratefulness. I wanna live long enough in this universe called blogosphere. So I wanna say thank you to everyone who visits Sisuahlai.

Before you start spitting bleks and ptuis, or throwing sticks at this evanlegical message, please hear me out.

I want to say thank you to kaliao lang... for staying loyal to Sisuahlai, for reading my Hokkien trashionary.

Now for my grand "Miss Universe"esque speech...
"Hola! Without you, my legion of fans, in the hundreds according to Nuffnang analytics (free plug, don't look at me like that, everybody is doing it), I am nobody. But now... I am someone. I want to make this world a better place through my blog work. I want to help a lot of people. You like my dress?"
Ha ha. Now, the second most important longevity tip for any blogger is "controlled" vanity. Some do it better than others. Some just cam-whore.

And this is me. (adjust your monitor contrast, you might just see my reflection)

As this is Sisuahlai's 1 year 6 months conniversary, I'd like to say kamsia cheh-cheh to those who read this blog, link their sites to this blog and support Sisuahlai's Hokkipedia.

Most importantly, I hope you enjoy the irony, and you get it. Now for my anniversary blogroll...

(1) Sisuahlai's top referrer, in 2006 and 2007 is Thank you Kenny.

(2) Sisuahlai's cam-whore award, or self-photography award:

Last year's undisputed winner... Xiaxue @ Superstar Wendy. She's the David Bailey of cam-whoring. And if her writing could be measured on a bitchiness scale, she is the ultimate heavyweight.

But this year's Sisuahlai Oscar for best self-photography goes to Nicole. She's the Queen. Nicole now works in TMNET, so she can get more bandwidth for her photos. He he. And her chocolate looks delicious too. Can I, Nic?

(3) Sisuahlai's 2007 secret read (not anymore!) is Sour Milk. I'm hoping she would blog more often. Why? You want non-sour milk izeet? Nah.. please take it, straw included.

(4) Sisuahlai's 2007 secret stash II: Chocolate judas on a stick! This is top quality, unadulterated stuff, and I don't feel the slightest embarrassed promoting it. She writes so well. And you can't find it in any shop.... and she is Naeboo. Yes, that secret planet where Gungans dwell.

(5) And finally, a true gem. This 17 year-old Kuching wonder-lass rocks... my Best Blog Writer 2007 definitely goes to Cat-meets-eagle's Ali (*link removed). I wish I can write like her.

Thank you for making the blogosphere a wonderful place!

Now you can start throwing sticks......... CHAO!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Bride kidnapping

SINYO n. bride
THAO v. steal
Bride kidnapping? What is that?

I asked myself the same thing. I had this image of Borat throwing a bag over the unsuspecting Pamela Anderson at the end of his cultural learnings movie, with the hope of taking her back to Kazahkstan so they both could be husband and (unwilling) wife.
Most of us laughed, because it was a made-up story. It was Borat. The victim was Pamela. It was only a movie.
Sadly, the tradition of forcing and taking a girl out of her home and marrying her off to a complete stranger is not a fictional world conceived by Borat. It is actually happening, in Kyrgyzstan.
"No wonder Russia is happy to let these countries go!" I once heard someone said.
I was shocked to read about it some time ago. A UK-based reporter decided to highlight the plight of these hapless girls in a documentary. It is showing in the UK this week. I hope ASTRO will buy the program and show it here in Malaysia.
Because it is easy to see the misfortunes of these so-called primitive traditions belonging to other cultures. Some Kyrgyzs see this as a common occurence. What's the fuss? Women earn so little there, they are better off getting (forced) married!
Such paternalistic attitude towards women and the younger community is still rife, especially in developing countries. Even in Malaysia. I hope we can also examine our own cultural shortcomings and faults as much as we see them in others.
Because we too, have a long way to go....

...freedom of expression. Transparency. And freedom to believe.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Me? A "mountain person"?

PAI KIA n. gangster
SUA TENG KA n. out-of-towner

Hokkien-speaking people don't do subtleties. We don't beat around the bush. If we could be anymore frank, we would. Really.

That is probably why people usually regard Hokkien as a coarse, uncultured, unsexy dialect. I am not going to disagree. In fact, I am proud that my favourite dialect is more German than French, more Malaysian than Singaporean, more ooohs than aaahs, more testosterone than soya milk.

I was told that Singaporean parents do not like their kids to pick up Hokkien. It's a street langauge, they say. It's too pai kia.

(Mr Subtle... I wonder if he speaks Hokkien)

But that is exactly how I like my Hokkien. Street, and pai kia. (no reference to Snoop's picture whatsoever)

And I also like Singapore, and French people. And I occasionally drink soya milk, if there aren't any other better drinks of course.


This leads me nicely to another subject. A commentor asked for the definition of SUA TENG KA.

KA literally means leg in Hokkien. Hokkien-speaking people do not use head count, we use leg count. One ka therefore means one person. But if we say, "we do not have ka", that means there aren't enough people (to start a fight, to play mahjong, to convene a meeting, etc.).

KA can be a colouful addition, usually as a suffix, to certain Hokkien adjectives or nouns. Examples:

LA SAP KA (dirty leg) adj. a cheat, dishonest player
SIO PAK KA (fighting leg) adj. thug, anyone who derives pleasure from physical fights
SUA TENG KA (mountain person) adj. an out-of-towner. Someone who is unfamiliar and a little sakai with proceedings.

Here, these are some SUA TENG KAs that you might recognise:

Hans Solo. N'xau from GMBC. And Michael Jackson. And not forgetting...

Older Posts