Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Back for Good

LIU this blog v. dig this blog

Ta-dah. It's good to be back. I'm blogging once more (insert your favourite Carpenters' song here). I feel so normal again. Returning to my safe, fictionalized world of Sisuahlai.

Now, a little update on Sisuahlai's little life. I have moved from the big cosmopolitan world of Kuching to a little village on the west coast of Peninsular Malaysia. People call it KL, capital of Malaysia, but actually it's a foreign land. Why? Because nobody speaks Hokkien here, except for this minority group who live along Jalan Ipoh. My mission here is to spread a little Hokkien goodness to the people of KL...

" do i look fly for a Kuching boy?" (apparently KL people speak like this all the time, when they don't speak their Cantonese)

Every single time I walked into a Chinese shop in KL, people would immediately assume I speak Cantonese. I don't.

My Cantonese is limited to words like em-goi, ho gwai, tiu, cheeh seen, mai dan and leng loi. Yes, I'm hopeless. But honestly, I much prefer the 'rough and ready' Kuching Hokkien as the standardized medium of Chinese communication. (I think I'm fighting an uphill battle here....)

So I am bent on saying ha-mik every single time someone wants to start a Cantonese conversation.

But for a Kuching boy, I think I am learning the KL way of life pretty quickly. So these are my learnings of KL for make benefit for the glorious town of Kuching:-


(1) I can confirm this one. Everyone working in mamak stalls have the same name. Boss.

(2) 2007 is Visit Malaysia Year.

(3) Sex sells in KL. And I mean it in ringgit terms. In Kuching, sex is priceless. Because it equals marriage.

(4) The lowest unit of money in KL is the 1 ringgit note. Coins are called toll tokens or McDonald's charity money.

(5) KL DAP headquarters is the centre for outrageous complaints and mishap stories.

(6) 2007 is Visit Malaysia Year. Just in case you miss it the first time.

(7) Owning a pirate DVD as a foreigner is a lot riskier than owning one as a Malaysian. But owning 600,00 pirate DVDs in a single premise as a foreigner is simply asking for it. Then it's truly Malaysia My Second Home for these people.

(8) It's miserable being skint on a Saturday night in Kuching. It's a blessing being skint on a Saturday night in KL.

(9) Everyone speaks Cantonese in KL. Even the Bosses in mamak stalls.

So it's time we bring our brand of Hokkien to the people of KL. Join me.
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