Friday, July 28, 2006

Last entry?

The author of SISUAHLAI will be ONLINE for a LIVE CHAT on Saturday 29 July 2006, MALAYSIAN TIME 8-10am.

Chat will be held on SISUAHLAI chatterbox (see sidebar).

See you there!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Secrets to long life

BO CHAP adj.,v. care-free

Read the Star Online for the secret of longevity.

Happiness? I don't think so. I say good genes, good nutrition and a sensible dose of bo chap attitude. Happiness is a result of a healthy long life and it does little to prolong it.
Frankly, living well matters more than living long. And along your life journey, do remember to learn to love.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Kuching Inc.

SIOK v. (Teochew) love


What is Kuching's equivalent to London's Oxford Street?

What is Kuching's equivalent to New York Central Park?

What is Kuching's equivalent to London's Soho?

To Know Kuching, Is To Siok Kuching.

P/s: What is Kuching's equivalent to the Mardi Gras festival? The Rainforest Music what?

Don't play-play

MAI SERNG-SERNG v.,adj. don't play-play
The Malaysian Prime Minister denied that Khairy Jamaluddin, his 30-year-old son-in-law, was his advisor.

“My son-in-law is not an adviser. He used to work with me. As my subordinate, obviously he was involved in preparing analyses and giving his opinion on many things,” he defended.

He was special officer to Abdullah, who was then Deputy Prime Minister, for four years. When Abdullah became Prime Minister, Khairy was his deputy principal private secretary II until May 2004, Star Online reports.

In my considered opinion, this guy is definitely his most influential advisor. Still!

All Pak Lah's recent government actions appear to be in risposte to Tun M's views. So if you want the Malaysian government to do something or appear to be doing something, get Tun M talking.

Mai serng-serng with this retired guy.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Targeted Marketing

Not too long ago I posted a sarky comment on google intuitive advertisement.

The article:

Well, with the latest tragic Middle Eastern conflict, it seems that google ads scored another own-goal...

Click here to enlarge for all you myopics (me included) who cannot read microscopic print

Friday, July 21, 2006

Sisuahlai is moving....

I am almost at the end of this blogging adventure.

I will be maintaining the blog title for the SISUAHLAI charity.

We are now at our third swapped item... it's Marvin Chew's painting (approx. value US$500), he has swapped it for FH2o Kayaking experience on 14 July 2006.

Are you our next swapper? Keep the momentum going... keep Sisuahlai Charity RM5000.00 charity target alive.

Thank you again.

How it all started...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Just a load of...

SIAOLI adv. embarrassing

How many times have you been offered a TITLE for cash? For the average person, unless one actively seeks for it on the net, the answer is probably not too often. Besides, what good is a TITLE?

Well, some people feel that with a TITLE before, or after their names, they will feel empowered to do great stuff, like visiting welfare homes and feel the need to pat and look sympathetically at orphan kids. They might also think that TITLES gives them respectability, influence and status. In some cases, it is also seen as an opportunity to mingle with the rich and famous and, not too uncommon, an opportunity to generate extra wealth and income. A career boost perhaps.

Well, I have been offered one, at a discounted price! Embarrassingly, this offer (with an expiry date!) is done through a valid, registered professional channel. For a small donation, the Royal Society of Medicine is happy to grant me a Fellowship title. That's another four extra letters after my name. And it allows me to enter its London headquarters through a MEMBERS ONLY ENTRANCE and buy their merchandise at near cost price. Wow, tears of joy.

What a load of....

Titles? I really just want breakfast with double-yolk eggs eveyday.

Singapore, Malaysia, Dr M - happy happy can?

THIK-KEE adj. stubborn, arrogant (literally meaning "metal tooth")

Reading Saturday 15 July's Star Online: Setting the Record Straight (and the publication of classified correspondence between Dr M's admin and Singapore government) with some sadness, and then laughter, and then sadness and then laugh some more.

Why so much bad blood between Singapore and Malaysian politicians? And between Dr M. and the current Malaysian Government?

Aiya. Happy happy sing song play guitar. No need for this sort of thik-kee attitude. Here is Sisuahlai's open letter to every politicians, now and former, in Malaysia and Singapore.

Dear Ministers,

You were elected to run the country well, and frankly, you haven't done a bad job (if this was a TV show, this is when I would have pressed for the canned applause, for 2 seconds).

But remember, you are not flawless and indispensable. So please listen to us; there is always room to improve, I'm sure you'd agree.

There is no need to hold Singaporean people at ransom because of water issue. Poor thing, they haven't a big enough desalination plant. The country is only small-small. Quite koh-lian in fact, size wise. Charge them reasonably according to the going rate plus some friendly discount. They will always be Malaysian's neighbour, whether you like it or not. This is not a Monopoly game where you can move and sell lands, Singapore will always be a land south of Johore whether you like it or not. Price the water so it will suit them and keep the Republic happy. They are, I am sure, very grateful people. I have full confidence that they will repay us in unexpected ways, even though it might not be in monetary terms. I have never given durians to my neighbours, and later finding them throwing the seeds back in my garden... we are nice people, they are also nice people.

There is no issue about the railway linking Singapore and Malaysia. The Singapore PM is quite chin-chai with Malaysian's proposals. He is happy with Malaysian proposals, so good sign.

The causeway issue, crooked or not, the old one really need to be replaced. Everyone can see that this has to be done sooner or later. Dr M. wants Singapore to share the cost of building the bridge. Singapore agreed. So far so good. But because both nations could not settle on the issue of water price review, suddenly the bridge project beh jadi cho (was cancelled!). I think this is a little childish. Just because Malaysia initially negotiated the causeway deal as part of a package, which included price water review and airspace use, and then Dr M. made a U-turn saying each issue should be dealt with individually (no disrespect to Dr M., everyone knows that making U-turns were recurring features of his administration), Singapore also took the same attitude... also U-turn on their early agreement to build their part of a new causeway.

This reminds me of my childhood playground strategy. You hit me, I must hit you, you call me names, I also call you names.

Hello? Malaysia and Singapore are not playground for your egos.

These are our beloved countries. Build the damn causeway because it is the most sensible thing to do. Don't stop the project because your ego was hurt.

The recent release of the classified
correspondence between Dr M.'s admin and Singapore's government was an eye-opener and also confirmatory of Malaysian and Singaporean politicians inability to negotiate effectively. Hopefully, with some prayers, Pak Lah's admin and the Singapore government can perform better.

Dr M., you were not just a good PM, but you were an amazingly brilliant thinker, but not flawless. But you had your days, you won't like it if your previous mentor or predecessor breathe down on you and question your every move. Let the leaders of the day have the freedom of governance, if he or she did a bad job, WE will be the judge on election day. It is the outcome that matters. Let's wait and see.

All we want you to do is to carry out the most sensible choices for us. Singapore and Malaysia are not economical or military threats to each other. So build a new causeway; sell the water at the price convenient for the Singaporeans and review the pegged price at an interval requested by the Singaporean, and in return from Singaporeans...
...JUST BE NICE TO US, MALAYSIANS. There is not a lot we need from Singapore.
No ego, just an average Malaysian. Sisuahlai.


Jordan at the local WH Smith book signing... the smartest brunette in England.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Searching for the World's Most Famous Kuchingite

THO-LONG v. from the Malay word "tolong" meaning help, this word can also be a substitute for please.
For example: Can you please don't disturb my girlfriend?
In Kuching Hokkien: Tho-long-la. Mai ka chiaw wa eh char-bo peng yiu.

S. from America (Beddington) e-mailed this interesting question:

"Who is the most famous person to come from Kuching?"

My immediate response was beh chai (don't know). Help me out here people... who are the world-famous Kuchingites?

Or am I really that ignorant. I wanted to say James Brooke, but that is stupid, first he was not world-famous, second he was not even born in Kuching.

Honestly, no insult to my dear Kuching people, I think this creature is the most famous thing to come from Kuching...

Prove me wrong... who are the famous Kuching people... THO-LONG, can?






Impetus for Sisuahlai Charity


SISUAHLAI charity has found an impetus...

The Story So Far:

May 1 2006 blog entry
Let's do something good for the People. Laughters alone won't feed the needy. Have you heard about the guy who swapped a red paperclip for a house? Completely pointless, but he succeeded nonetheless. Let's do something similar among us- bloggers and blog-readers in Sarawak, Malaysia and All Over The World...

I want to raise RM5000 for the National Cancer Society and Sarawak Children’s Cancer Society. How? By doing series of swaps and trades for bigger and higher value items, until a target sum of RM5000 is achieved. I will start by trading a rare 1869 James Brooke for your item...

The story in June 2006...
Francis was the first person to swap. I have sent him a rare 1869 James Brooke stamp in exchange for a "Personalised Irrawaddy Dolphin Watching Trip with FH2o". So my current item up for swap is this kayaking experience. This is a genuine offer. Do you wanna spend a day kayaking with the guru, Francis, alongside dolphins?
The story today...
Marvin Chew responded to the charity drive by swapping his painting (price circa US$500) for the Kayaking experience on 14 July 2006. According to Marvin's blog, the original watercolour painting, entitled "Tranquility @ Bako National Park", measures approximately 14" x 21". The actual photo of this scene is taken by FH2o at Bako National Park. It is painted on acid-free Fabriano Artistico watercolour paper, using artist grade watercolours.
Thanks Marvin! I am now looking for someone to swap for his painting as shown above. Are you the one?

Sunday, July 16, 2006

World Blogger Tour

PUAK KHIAW n. gambling (thanks for correcting HJ)

The world poker tour series was showing on Challenge TV last night. There are now so many poker celebrities thanks to the advent of internet gambling and night-and-day TV coverage.

I cannot believe it, there are so many familiar faces on the World Poker Series... you have to see it to believe it. Let me explain.

First, let me introduce Evelyn Ng. She began her gambling career playing pool at age 14, then later expanded her career by dealing blackjack and poker at age 17 in her hometown of Toronto. She is now a professional poker player.

Look at her... doesn't she look a little too familiar... Evelyn "Singapore Blogger (pre-make up/pre-eyelash extension) Xiaxue" Ng...

Now, let me introduce Karina Jett. She has made a total of eight final tables dating back to 2002. This includes a pair of World Series final tables in ladies events. Karina Jett started playing poker after watching her mom and soon learned that she had a natural ability for the game.

Now, doesn't she look a little like... Karina "Jasiminne the Malaysian Blogger" Jett.

We really should have our own TV series called World Blogger Tour. Anyone interested in this new TV production, please write to me.
Now, who does poker legend Johnny Chan remind you of?
Cheen-cheen si Sisuahlai.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Sisuahlai's Sister Finally Speaks

SIO-MOI n. little sister

Finally I managed to squeeze a few words out from my sister.

And she wrote, "Raggaeton is a sick fad now that I can't stand- everyone listens to it, therefore it is bad."

What... give a mouth-piece and she came out with this?

Young kids these days, you can never leave them uncontrolled...

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Everyone Loves Kuching

O-SZENG n. another name for Kuching
I am counting my last few days in London. Parties have been organised, gatherings have been planned... can you blame me for being a little excited. Kuching beckons. And I cannot wait.

This blogging adventure will finally end when I return home. Kuching is genuinely the best city in the world. Why would I want to avertise on xiaxue's blog... I am coming home, babe. No more Sisuahlai.

This is xiaxue's mass mail, pleading for advertorial money...

But thanks for inviting.

Why Everybody Loves Kuching?

(1) You can be a famous blogger and still be a humble fellow. The whole city will rain on you once your ego gets out of check. The only true superstars of Kuching are the hardworking people who keep the city spotless! Not some bitching, pretentious bloggers... we prefer humour like Kenny's.

(2) Our Laksa. Enough said. We even have a blog inspired by this yummilicious dish.

(3) Our virgin rainforest and water. You can get in touch with nature with this bloke.

(4) And the lovely fresh smell after rainstorms....

According to a Chinese blog reader, Kuching is truly o-szeng! Visit Kuching Year 2006. Yes, awesome.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Let's Make Love

KHONG adj. dizzy

Have you ever thought of being in a successful music band without ever knowing how to play an instrument properly? Well, why not... if Cansei de Ser Sexy could, why couldn't you?

Let me introduce this quirky Brazilian band: they were formed in 2003, and their lead vocal is a Japanese-Brazilian mix, Luísa Hanaê Matsushita, or more famously, Lovefoxxx.

Their first single from their debut album is "Let's Make Love and Listen Death From Above". A disco-punk hit with beats that makes you dizzy and your head goes thum, thum, thum, thum...

You'll love them, trust me...

Friday, July 07, 2006

Ridiculous comments by a Minister

LUAN-LUAN LAI adj. rush, rush (thanks for prompting, Francis)

My response to The Star Online report: Cut Out Suicide Scenes.

Deputy Women, Family and Community Minister Datuk G. Palanivel argued that suicide scenes in Indian films can influence people to do the same! This was in response to a tragic incident where an Indian mother was suspected to have led her young children to their death by dragging them to a railroad track; she and her two young daughters were killed by a passing train.
No doubt, this is a terrible tragedy. But to argue that suicide scene in movies might have influenced her decision is terribly short-sighted, ill-thought knee-jerk risposte to this tragic circumstance.
Any person, important enough, good enough to hold such ministerial role must first sit back and analyse the event carefully before making any conclusion. Please don't make a habit of passing rash judgment based on sentiments and the mood-of-the-day!
We, Malaysians, will be censoring opinions and artistic expressions willy-nilly if Datuk P. would have it his ways. There will be no stories or movies on wars. There will be no stories or movies about the mind-set of criminals. There will be no stories or movies on domestic violence and racial inequality.
I think we are mature enough to form our daily decisions without being dictated by movies or stories. We do not want a North Korean-style management of national media and entertainment.
Instead we should learn to identify the vulnerable section of the community and learn to offer help appropriately. We should reach out and provide support to those who are at risk of committing deliberate self-harm. Banning certain scenes in movies, I can tell you, is not the answer or support they are looking for!
Now, Datuk P., I hope you can see my argument. Best be silent if one does not have anything constructive to offer.

Thursday, July 06, 2006


SIAN-SIN v. believe

Dear Sisuahlai,

Can you really help me?
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancée's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding.
She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.
When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred.Then she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave.
I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with this situation.
I headed straight out the front door. There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be. He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he congratulated me on passing their little test.
Sisuahlai, should I tell my fiancée what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character? Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?
K., Penang.
Dear K.,
Unbelievable, crazy, chap sar thiam parents! Good luck mate. (if this is a true and not a copy-and-paste story!)

Monday, July 03, 2006

Lily Allen - introducing this Islington gem to Malaysian listeners

KONG-SI v. share

Sharing some of my iPod tunes. If you want a cheery soundtrack to your summer, I mean your hot and humid day, listen to Lily Allen's songs. She introduced her music to the world through her blog-site on I wonder how many Malaysians do that, instead of just writing and bickering on small stuff.
Older Posts