Malaysian Dreamgirl part 3 of many (the final 12)

Once upon a time, in a land, not too far away from my city condo, 12 special ladies were ushered into this palatial shelter where they will receive weeks of intensive training. Wisdom and knowledge of the ancient art of looking pretty in various combination of clothes and poses will be imparted to these eager apprentices.

The host reminded the girls how lucky and bertuah to be the chosen 12. She advised, "now make yourself at home but be mindful at all times, we have a pool. If you use it wisely it will take you places. Now don't look at me like that... hurry up, got chance to wear bikini now. Chop chop."

(The mostly male camera crew could not believe their karma. What have they done to deserve this?)

Some of the apprentices were allowed into the diary room to air their grievances; or sometimes, just to share their views with the camera crew and host. Why this particular pretty padawan wore a bikini and a towel for the interview I also don't know. She look drugged? No0-la.



Master Elaine imparting some tips from the pedestal.

"This is the way of the wise my apprentices...now please stand up and wiggle your hips."

"Now look down at your toes; look for the signs... look"

"Now stand up and arch your back like this.."

But the best (these ones are not made up) Manglish lines came from Episode 3:

Elaine: "Both hands are out like that you know. One hand might be chopped off. So you just might want to angular a bit more, just suck in your tummy.." (Episode 3 part 2; clip 4:00 to 4:12)

Hand (arm) chopped off? What is this?
Hmm...what are the chances if this is an academy for selecting Malaysia's...

Sisua-salute to the Dreamgirl academy.

Glossary:
bertuah - (malay) fortunate
Manglish - mangled English/Malaysian English
Lu kong hamik -"what talk you"

Where will you be on 15th March between 6-10pm?

I hope it's Borneo Baruk Club, Kuala Lumpur.


See you there!

Girls in dreamland Part 2 of many (warning: model GalORE)

Lucky boy Kenny enjoyed his coffee and more. (in mega-jealous tone)


I shall continue with my needless comments.

Below is Miss stunner Nadia. A 19-year-old Limkokwing student. Her introduction went like this...

Nadia: ... I am turning 20 this April. I am studying interior architecture in Limkokwing. I love skateboarding and swimming.

This was when Judge Kenny interrupted.

Kenny: Skateboarding and swimming? That's quite extreme.

Wait a second, wait a second. Tolong rewind balik. Brrr.....rr'd...

Kenny: Skateboarding and swimming? That's quite extreme.

Kenny, kenny. Skateboarding and swimming mana oo extreme.


Moving on...

Next up was another 19-year-old student, Belinda.

She said she had the face and the figure to compensate for her obvious shortcoming, her height la. Judge Elaine and Judge Jimmy didn't feel she had the qualities to be a top model. And then our hero came to the rescue. Kenny defended her like crazy.

I must say I agree with Kenny: she had the package that would make the public lurve her, especially the appreciative male population.

I wonder if Kenny picked her based on a similar reasoning and persuasion.

It couldn't be those hotpants, could it? Just a thought.

But my favourite audition from episode 1 had to be Giselle. Preschool teacher by day, and Model hopeful, erm, on Saturdays and Sundays.

She gets my vote. And Kenny, you're spot on again. You are the perfect mouth-piece for the teenage boys' mind. Let's be preschool kids again!!

Next entry: Exasperated show producers, judges roped in as stand-in models

Girls in dreamland (warning: model GalORE)

judge

jury

executor

Never mind the election. This is equally if not more exciting.

As people throng the voting stations today, those who aren't able to vote can still exercise their democratic rights.

You are eligible to vote for Malaysian Dreamgirl aka "Malaysia Next Top Model".

I have seen all 5 webcast episodes (the next 5 are out later today). It is hard not to laugh. At times, you are not even sure who you are laughing at: the model wannabes, the judges or yourself (for putting yourself up as the web audience la).

Well, I have to say it was very entertaining. Jimmy made me laugh. Elaine made me laugh. Kenny made me laugh. But this one gave me stomach cramps...

She walked into the judging box with a chewing gum in her mouth! Si bei satt. She did nothing to conceal it; she was quite happy to display her chewing right in front of the judges.

Jimmy and Elaine politely requested that she disposed off the gum and come back again to the firing line; but Kenny had to go further, he suggested she should just leave and never appear again. That's the the equivalent of a f-off, Kenny. No wonder he's regarded the Simon Cowell of the show.

The girl returned to redeem herself, minus the chewing gum this time. She played her poly-racial card.

Classic dreamgirl moment...

Contestant: My name is Cynthia Atila Roslan Abel. I am (from) a mixed parentage. Father side got Chinese, Kadazan, Java and Bajau. On my mother side, Chinese, Kadazan, Brunei. I love modelling. I love the way they act in front of the cabera (camera?). They do everything (she then started to wave her hands and sway her hips). They look so beautiful.

Jimmy: Do everything is called posing.

But sadly, her multi-ethnic heritage could not save her. Needless to say, it was really goodbye right from the chewing gum entrance. Kenny was right to spare her more embarrassment with his initial f-off quip.

Righty ho, don't potong q. Let's follow the order of the webcasts. First up was Fairiz.

The nervous tension was palpable. She'd even forgotten to put her contact lens on.

Wearing spectacles isn't a fashion crime but her dress combination was s-h-o-c-k-i-n-g!

Dress + jeans + half-rimmed glasses = what was she thinking?

It actually made Kenny's vest looked acceptable. :)

Next up was R007. That was her number.

Her fashion style didn't impress anyone but the host and presumably herself. Kenny said she looked like pasar malam sayur (oi, what is that Kenny?).

The surprising thing was how she just accepted the judges' decision. Like a lame duck. How can? One should never let anyone say you're pasar malam sayur without putting up a fight. Just like Shaolin Tiger pointed out in his earlier Dreamgirl post, some of the girls here lack teeth.

Dear Malaysian model wannabes, bite back la when kena criticized; don't just smile and accept any crappy decision from judges!

Next up was this angelic face.

The point of this whole audition is to find someone who has the potential to be shaped into a successful model. So therefore, the prerequisite should be a good frame, a nice face and the right attitude. Wearing clashing colours or Bollywood style clothes should not be the decisive factor for the audition. I think the judges were wrong to eliminate this angel from the competition. She has the nicest smile and cutest face around.

Then there was Adeline, the bakery-in-Genting-poster-girl.

Kenny got a little excited (just see him full of glee there!). Adeline is tall and sassy. Her only faux pais was saying Amber Chia when asked who her favourite model was. The judges tried really hard not to show their disappointment. Gir-girl, so many to choose from, why go and choose that one?

But she still won the judges over with her height, smile and lovely frame.

Next came this mini-skirt.

This girl from Ipoh need not say a word, she won Mr Sia's vote the second she strutted in. Kenny could not hide his delight and his "hello" showed (need to watch the clip to appreciate).

But Jimmy quickly put things into perspective. He dismissed her pageantry reasoning for entering the competition and also pointed out that those bra straps didn't go with the dress. He said every aspiring model should know when to go strapless.

I wanted to say "Gir-girl, if not sure to go strap or strapless hor, just go braless la. Cannot wrong that one." But that's wrong, and sexist.

Pettiness aside, Elaine then asked her to strike a pose.

She spontaneously came up with a cross-legged shaved armpit pose. Classy.



More lala-ness in the next Girls in dreamland II entry.